When I was in the second grade I remember sitting in a large circle with my classmates as our teacher explained that we would be re-enacting Cinderella. To keep things fair all the girls would be given a number, and a copy of that number was in our teacher's sack. Whoever had the matching number would be Cinderella. My number was 23.
It was as if from a dream because that was the number my teacher pulled. I, Kelli, was going to be Cinderella. In my second grader female mind I had just won the lottery. Immediately after I had won, one girl, who was considered the prettiest of the class, asked what I would be wearing. I answered I was going to wear my favorite dress. She said she had a better dress and I could borrow it. I politely declined because I wanted to wear my dress. After all I was Cinderella and I could wear the dress I wanted.
Then as it came out that I had declined the kind offer the suggestion I let this girl be Cinderella started. I didn't let any of it get to me though (even at that age) because I knew they were jealous of my win. On the day we were to dress as our characters I had my favorite dress on (wish I had a picture of it), but when I got to school some of my joy was robbed as I realized how much more appropriate for Cinderella that the pretty girl's dress would have been. She had a beautiful white gown on and mine, well it wasn't a gown.
Other girls started pointing out how I should have let the pretty girl be Cinderella, and even though no matter what I wouldn't have given that spot away, I'll never forget that moment when I thought, perhaps, I should have. Even by second grade I had though that my outer beauty was more important than the fact that I was Cinderella. No matter what I looked like I was still Cinderella.
This memory came to me last night as I was praying for healing of my broken heart ( a process to be sure). Much of the hurt I have faced was always about my outer beauty. I am a "big" girl. I was a beautiful child, I look back at old pictures of me and for the life of me can't figure out where left that sparkling girl at. She's still here with me, but I have suppressed her because as I was told in the second grade, and believe now, I'm a false Cinderella.
However, because of this prayer to heal my broken heart, and this memory was one that needed to be healed, I have a new perspective. One I hope will help you. I still am Cinderella. In the Bible many decisions were done by casting lots. It was seen as asking God to write the story and choose the path. I won that lot. And I want you to know that you have too.
Cinderella's prize is not that she got to marry the prince (that was a blessing, but it wasn't the prize). It is that she gets to become the outer princess that she always was on the inside. Her means of getting there may have been by a ball and prince, but the reason we long for her to win is that she is not just physically beautiful, but gracious, kind, and beautiful on the inside. Cinderella becomes what she was always meant to be: a princess.
And if you are daughter of the King then that does make you a princess. You have an incredible, beautiful heart, and the enemy (much like Cinderella's step-family) will to steal, kill, and destroy that heart. Jesus is healing that one moment in time and showing me that it didn't matter the dress I felt like a princess and I am, and He wants me to tell you that you are too.
Join my friend and sister and ask for the healing (if you haven't) for that broken place deep in your heart.
Much Love,
Kelli
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