I don't think we ever face any tougher critic than ourselves. In fact for many of us our hatred of ourselves goes beyond what we might heap on our worst enemy. And I think most of it comes from the nasty decision to judge.
We judge everything, and while having good judgment is necessary we seem to lack the necessary wisdom needed when making a judgment. Especially about ourselves. Unlike God we cannot judge the heart of a man. So we do the next best thing and look at the actions and words of others to determine how we should proceed with that individual. We see the circumstances and their actions are perceived by us and most of the time we are lenient if we know they have a good heart. However, that leniency is not given to ourselves and I firmly believe it is because we think we can judge our hearts.
I also firmly believe that we don't judge our hearts correctly. I had a Bible Study Fellowship leader that used to repeat this phrase; "We need a high view of God and an accurate view of ourselves." I find in my circle that most have a very high view of God, but an incredibly inaccurate view of themselves. Me included. Part of the issue is perfectionism. I know I strive for it and fail every time. For reasons I don't yet understand I keep trying to achieve it, but the cost of doing so is killing parts of me that need to be nourished. I know I am not alone in this. Our society today demands more and more from us and I think it is crippling us to the point where we are literally killing ourselves. This needs to stop now.
It is so easy to tear down and so difficult to build up, but I think as women we have an innate ability to build each other up. Now, we all know women and have been victims of those that easily tear us down, but I say today, right now, we take our power back. Let those that tear people down be shown for what they are, and let you, yes you, start to build up another. The first way we can do this is with ourselves.
Take your biggest flaw. I mean a real flaw. One that doesn't paint you in a good light. One you struggle with: critical of others, over-eating, no filter when speaking, hot tempered, financially irresponsible, whatever the case may be, own that flaw. I don't mean accept it as good, I don't mean to continue in it, and I mean own that it is part of you. Now, if you are religious ask God to forgive you of that flaw. If you aren't then we will join you in the second part and I now want you to forgive you. Do it. Now. Once you've accepted and forgiven yourself for the flaw you hate the most about yourself you can now take it and help yourself.
If you are critical of others, take that eye for detail and pick out the good things in someone. Then compliment that person. A great placed compliment can go a very long way. If you over-eat think about who might benefit from the food you’re eating. For everything you eat donate the same amount to your local food bank. If you have no filter when speaking repeat this phrase every time before you open your mouth, "Even a fool is thought wise, if kept silent." (Proverbs 17:28) Then proceed to speak. If you are hot tempered find out what your trigger buttons are and become passionate about a solution to help alleviate the anger trigger. And if you are financially irresponsible find out small things you can do to help you become better at managing your finances. There is a solution out there for you, and your deepest flaw can reveal what can become your biggest treasure.
You are stuck with you until you die, and you are certainly worth the love and care you give to others. Having self-love doesn't have to be selfish. It can fulfill your role in helping others.
Get It Right
by Lea Michele