I don't even know what to say... I'm at the point of tears and I feel...disappointed. However, when I see the AT&T commercial and it plays "Pure Imagination" from the Willy Wonka movie it never fails to put a smile on my face. I think I've had more genuine smiles today than I've had in a while, and yet my heart is breaking.
I obviously can't predict the future, and my faith well... I don't know that it is very strong for this situation. It isn't pride, at least not the majority of it. I know that no matter what you do sometimes, no matter how hard you work, it doesn't work out. However, when it is your dream, when it is your hard work, to see it possibly be over...
I have no idea what to do. I don't have answers just more and more questions. I really wish sometimes that God worked with neon signs and that when I needed to know it was right there for me to read. Of course who knows if I would even realize that it was from Him right?
So, I sit here next to my dog, watching Police Women of Memphis and scratching my dog while typing one handed. With no more answers than when I started, but hoping that God will help me get through this harsh time, and if a miraculous blessing in the form of keeping this dream alive is in His will then great. And if there isn't one, that He will help me through this time.
So, I'll leave you with this, something that gives me a smile, just like the police officer, Joy.