Going Through Hell

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5 (NIV)

"If you're going through hell, keep on going." - Winston Churchill

This can at many times, be the hardest thing. Especially when the tough time has been going on for a long time.

And when you are in the middle of it your thoughts usually go to: I WANT TO QUIT THIS! You are not alone in this thought process. However, please don't quit.

I know you've been praying and it seems God doesn't hear you, but He does! He really does. When you're at your wits end, and you don't know what to do - Go to bed. Or watch a movie, read a book, read your Bible, go for a walk, whatever it is, but some activity to get your mind off your current situation. God gives you all the grace you need, and as Pastor Paul says, if you don't think you can go on, go to bed, you'll get new grace tomorrow.

Often the hardest thing to hear from God is nothing. But please don't take that to mean God is nothing. But please don't take that to mean God is not moving or working on your behalf. Always pray before you make a move, because you do not want to do anything unless God is prompting you. I'll do a whole devotional on how to know when God is moving in your life, but for the time have others pray with you.

I know this can be difficult, I've been there many times myself, but it will pass. Until then I'll give you my secret weapon: Motown



Higher & Higher
by Jackie Wilson

Much Love,
Kelli

What Did Joseph Think?

Author's Note: This has been written over a two week period.

Quick Point: If you haven't had any struggles in your life, or things have pretty much always gone your way what I'm about to say is not for you.  However, if you've done everything you know to do and you're worse off than you've been this is for you.

I have had to pray for encouragement for the past few months and much more intensely for the past few weeks.  Financially, personally, spiritually, politically, drivingly (I know not a word, but I was on a role)...  Lets just there isn't a realm that hasn't been affected (or is it effected?  I get this wrong nearly every time, I'm sorry!! - I don't like be grammatically incorrect, but I'm really bad at it.).

The worst has been my finances.  I do everything I know to do: I tithe, I pray, I study the Word, and still it is in such a dire state that the actual thought of it could bring me to tears... so I gloss over it.  A week or so I was to the point of no longer being sad or upset, but downright furious.  Everything irritated me.  In fact one night I went to Keni's house and told her that I was at the end of my rope, and all I wanted to do was swear.  I wanted to use the f-word like no one's business because it represented my frustration and anger over a situation I can't seem to have any control over.

I refrained for her.  I did not refrain for my mother when she asked what was wrong.  After my spilling of all that was going on, of all the failures (and my seeming anti-Midas touch where everything I touch seems to go to crap), I said I was mad at the world.  Then she asked me if I was mad at the world or at God?

The truth is I was mad at God.  I didn't want to be. I don't want to be a petulant child unable to have the "faith" to go through this without complaint.  However, I couldn't lie to myself or to God and I was angry.  Deeply angry.  It isn't like this problem just suddenly manifested itself and has only been going on a few weeks, months, or days.  No, it has been going on for YEARS.  And it seems no matter what I do it doesn't get better.  I have faith God can do anything, but it has seemed, especially the last two years, that He has some how forgotten me.

I know that's not true, but in the hardest moments, especially the last few weeks when it all was so unrelenting that is how it felt.  Last week I started making it a daily prayer.  And I want to tell you God has delivered.  My circumstances are just as depressing as they ever were, but He has given me the peace and encouragement I needed.

Last week I found out I didn't get a job I had interviewed for.  While slightly upsetting I mourned the money more than the job itself.  However, it didn't upset me nearly as much as it could.  At the exact moment I got the call I was reading the wonderful news that Shas was having a boy!  Plus with all the people praying for me if I didn't get the job it was because God didn't want me to have it.

At the same time I was able to put a two month deferment on my student loans, which although I know all about the problems with that, it is a blessing for me.  So, even though I only made $3 (all gifts) it was okay.  It was really okay.  Then I made a radical change, one that I've been trying to implement for some time.  As the saying goes, "Money makes a wonderful servant, but a bad master."

I no longer wanted my money to be my master.  It certainly is necessary to every day living, but at the same time the way it can cause such stress is, for lack of a better word, stressful.  After this epiphany I tithed one of my dollars.  There.  To be honest it was hard (I now only had $2), but the longer I thought about it the better I felt.

On Monday it was pouring. It was blissfully cool (54 degrees), and rainy.  My radio doesn't work most of the time, so I was listening to my MP3 when I started to skip past "King of Glory" by Third Day.  Then I thought, no, I'm going to praise God.  No matter what, He will see me through this.

Before the chorus began my phone rang.  It was the guy I had interviewed with asking me if I was still interested in the job.  I most certainly was....

A few days later I want you to know I start on Monday.

I want you to know, if you are in that spot now, if it is hard and you're thinking, that's great for her, but what about me?  I do know how you feel, and I do want you to be encouraged that it will get better if you know Jesus.

Thank you for those of you who have been praying for me.  They have blessed me and I'm truly grateful.



King of Glory
by Third Day

Much Love,
Kelli

Coming Up... Something?

I have three devotionals I'm working on, but the more I get into this, the more research I have to do.  I'm quite enjoying it actually and wished all those terrible papers I had to write in college were this fun.  Except for my Humanities essay in which I used David Bowie/Queen's song "Under Pressure" to describe and explain a particular Greek philosophy.  I'm quite proud of that.

Today on Pastor Paul's podcast was a particularly timely sermon for me.  Based on Joseph's life with Potifer and more importantly, Potifer's wife it was about doing God's will and living God's standard.  The catch was that Joseph did not receive an immediate blessing from doing this, in fact he was sent prison.  So, for those of us who are trying to live God's standard and follow His will there might not be an immediate blessing.  If you get the chance I highly recommend listening to it here. (It is entitled God Is Still in Control posted on 04/06/11)

I hope it blesses your heart too.

On a more personal issue I tweeted with a virus today.  NOT a computer virus, but the measles virus.  All because I reported that here in the Metroplex (for those un-familiar it refers to the Dallas/Ft. Worth area) there were two people diagnosed with it. You can catch our conversation on my twitter page.

While we're on the subject of tweeting and blogging I will be changing my profile picture soon, but I need some help deciding what I'm going to choose.  I usually leave my picture for months without changing it, so I want to be happy with what I choose.  I'll have the three contenders on here soon and if you can help me choose I'd appreciate it.

For fun today I have this great music video.  It is from an artist I just heard about, Nick Gardner.



Where I Go
by Nick Gardner

Much Love,
Kelli

Bring Me Sunshine

Sometimes, even as a Christian, you have days that just bring you down.  They are rough, hard to take, and all of your emotional issues seem to come to the forefront.  Yes you have abundant life and a joy you can't explain, but there are times when you just don't feel that and with good reason.  Sometimes life just flat out sucks.

I've been going through a time period where all of my work, all of my effort, and all of my mental and emotional excursions seem to be for naught.  I've talked about an anti-Midas touch, and I have certainly felt that for a couple of weeks now.  I've cried out to the Lord in prayer and I have received four friends, two words, one song, and a walk.

The four friends were actually a different times, but each one has been such a wonderful relief to me and a blessing of uplifting love.  I really needed their encouragement, and I'm blessed to have them in my life.

The first word I received was from the book of Luke 1:45 (NIV):

Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished.

Then I heard this from Pastor Paul's podcast (Lessons Every Dreamer Must Learn Part 2 Continued) today:

When God is grooming us for greatness He brings us up slowly.

Then of course was this song: I don't think a better video ever came to my attention right when I needed it like this video. It is "Bring Me Sunshine" by the Jive Aces. I'm a sucker for fun time-pieces.



Bring Me Sunshine
by the Jive Aces

I know I sometimes vacillate between the two thoughts "I'm the only one going through this!" and "My problems are so small compared to others why am I complaining?"  The truth is neither of these things.  I went on a prayer walk with my church last night.  We went through the neighborhood walking and praying for each house as we did.  We didn't stop in front of each house, but just walked and prayed.  I never prayed for myself once during that walk and it was so wonderful to get my mind off my own problems.  I encourage you to do it as well.

I wanted to write to you and tell you that even in the midst of a rough time that there are blessings, that there are rewards, and that you will get through this.  You aren't alone and no matter what the issue is, if it is truly bothering you then don't worry about how big or small it may be to someone else's problem.  Ask the Lord to guide you through the time and keep on praying for others.

Much Love,
Kelli

Saturday Fun

So, as I continue to navigate and find my voice I think Saturday's should be reserved for more fun.  I love the weekends, not that I know anyone who doesn't, but sometimes I think it needs to have a little more fun.

With that thought in mind I have some fun Saturday blog.  At least I will attempt to have that.  My humor doesn't always come across the screen correctly.

Now these titles will change as I get bored easily, but you know I'll find the best of whatever.

The Best From Twitter:

I spend a lot of time on Twitter because I can actually be on it at work without my work suffering (unlike Facebook).  And it was a great week on Twitter:

1. Gary Sinise re-tweeted me for my mom.  His awesomeness took an even bigger leap in my mind.  I didn't think that was possible.

2. The Wall Street Journal had the best article title this week on the NPR scandal: Video Killed the Radio Czar.  That made me giggle.  Loudly.

3. Pastor Paul Sheppard is back to doing his podcast sermons.  I clapped. 

4. I failed at 'Name That Movie' Quote Game from The Pioneer Woman.  Badly.  Just a future warning I fail at the game 95% of the time.  Unless the  movie is The Sandlot.  I get that one.

Fashion Finds of the Week:

1. Charming Charlie - a necklace and pair of earrings are only $12.97.  That's pretty good.

2. Adorable black dress from Torrid.

3. A great royal blue summer dress from Forever 21+ (formerly known as Faith21)

4. Like I would ever pass up great shoes:  Black Wedges, which I fully intend to buy for summer.

Best Video of the Week:



Narayanan Krishnan

(I saw this on Bethany Joy Galeotti's blog.  It truly is inspiring.)

Enjoy your weekend!

Much Love,
Kelli

Still Learning

Shout Out: To Daddy. May your birthday be blessed and this year a blessing!

Hello, my busy friends!

I know many of you are getting ready for next week. I certainly am, and I can't help but look back on the past few months and realize how far everything has come. I love how God humbles you sometimes, because the best lessons are never ones that come harshly. They're so gentle and such an 'a-ha' moment. That's what He has done with me lately. Showing me things I needed to know in such a way that has touched my heart and made me thankful for such a sweet God.

I've been learning a lot, but I loved this from North Point Ministries. It is called G.P.S. : Gratitude, Persistence, and Surrender. I've been enjoying listening to their messages. My favorite ones so far are Your Move and The Waiting Room. I've also been learning a great deal from Pastor Paul Sheppard, if you can listen to him (about 20 minutes) I think you'll find it worth it.

Meanwhile, I heard that I missed an incredible sermon this past Sunday. Considering how much I loved the one before it I'm really sad. However, it was all for a great cause. Dad turns 50 tomorrow. So, my mother and I conspired with his sisters and through some twists and turns took him to Oklahoma City and surprised him with his family there. It was a great time and lots of great stories.

In my own personal life I made moderator of the forum that I visit daily. It's a big position, but thankfully I have a great board with great people. I'm really excited about this. A little nerdy perhaps, but a lot of fun!

I found this article, which is a fun look at some of the expressions we use and how they were generated from nautical terms.

So this post is nice and easy this week, which is really what I've been feeling like. I wish I could let you feel this peace and incredible time I'm having with God. It is unlike anything I've gone through before. I pray you are all having a good week, and if not I know it's tough, and I'll certainly pray for you.

Love to All!

Sunday Mornings

I love going to church. I have a great church family, and I love to worship God among them. I also listen to a great pastor Monday through Friday. His name is, Pastor Paul Sheppard. He is always a bright spot on my day and speaks truth into my life. He is funny, truthful, and loving in his delivery. Even if you don't have much time you can listen to him as each segment is only twenty minutes. Since being in Mexico, I've done many Bible studies, but none of them take the place of good old fashioned preaching. However, Pastor Paul continues to be a bright spot, shining Jesus' light into my life.

Here is a link to listen to him: http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/Enduring_Truth/ You can download any of his lessons, any which way you need to, for free. If you are searching I hope you get as much pleasure of hearing God's Word from this man as I do.

There is nothing like a great church family, and I am blessed to have that, but getting to hear God's Word this way Monday through Friday, is also a wonderful blessing. Since this is Father's Day, and my Daddy was who got me listening to him, I thought I would share him with you.