Slid in Shit

The Boomtown Rats have a hit called, "I Don't Like Mondays" and the repeated statement in this gem of a song is, "Tell me why I don't like Mondays".  I could tell you why today I don't like Mondays.  It started with me sliding through shit. (My apologies to the offended on my use of language today.)

I let my dog outside. I got my sister's dog and took her out as well.  I knew she might try something when she didn't use the outside facilities.  So when I saw her heading for under the coffee table I took after her picking her up, not seeing that while I was in a desperate flee to get her back outside she had already dropped her weapon. And I slid in it.

The day proceeded with me paying four cents more for gas so I could use the car wash because some birds had stomach problems and had shit all over my car.  Do you see a theme?  And the worst part is I'm not making any of it up!  However, the car wash was out, so I had to drive down the road and pay six bucks to get it cleaned off.  I wouldn't know until I got to work that it didn't get it all off, but after the morning I had it really didn't surprise me.

While on my trek to work I had not eaten breakfast so I stopped by McDonald's to get breakfast knowing that when I got to work if one person commented on my large coke and sausage biscuit with cheese there would be a disgruntled response.  Thankfully for everyone involved no one said anything.  To make up for my 32 oz of Coke I drank water the rest of the day.

However, my food in take is not the center of this story.  No, the beginning of my day was just it warning me as to what I was going to face.  I knew it was coming and yet I just wasn't prepared for what would happen. Do you read the comic strip, Dilbert?  I do. I find it funny.  But NEVER have I ever had a first hand experience like the one Dilbert so brilliantly exposes week after week. Until today.

So I will leave it there. I don't need this post to come back and bite me in the butt on some other un-suspecting day.  So it was only proper I finished it while watching Blazing Saddles and listening to...



I Don't Like Mondays
by Boomtown Rats

Much Love,
with Shit,

Kelli

From Somone Who Knows

I know that the spotlight this week has been on bullying and it is certainly something that sits very close to home for me.  This goes for anyone who is being bullied, not just because you might be gay, but because you dare to be something different and unique.

This is an open letter to those who are struggling from someone who was there.

Dear Hurting,

I will never forget my junior year of high school.  It was the worst year of my life.  Nothing can compare to it.  I went to school every day with a stomach ache because to me a good day was one where I didn't hear any of the taunts headed my direction.

I was an overweight teenager, with huge boobs, braces, and most certainly 'a nerd'. I was not athletic in any way, nor did I care to be.  I didn't enjoy sports, and I still don't to this day.  I enjoy/enjoyed music, writing, shopping, movies, hanging out with friends, everything but sports.  But, because of my physical appearance, I was constantly made fun of.  "Fat ass, thunder thighs, big boobs, metal face, fatty, etc." were all hurled at me at some point.

I had endured some form of it my freshman and sophomore year, but not to the degree I did my junior year.  I hurt every day, I cried nearly every day, and I merely existed when I was in school.  I would never wish that torment on another human being, including you.  If I could, I would give you a hug right now, but since I can't, you are welcome to talk with me.  I don't have all the answers, nothing that will solve the issue quickly or the way you want, but what I can tell you, what I can show you, is that this is just temporary.

It may feel like it will never end, but it will.  Your life is so precious and the minute you don't think you are valuable as a human being you come talk to me because you are incredibly valuable and I believe it and I haven't met you yet.  Criticism is a coward's way out, and although it is easy to say and not easy to live through it is the truth.  Life is better on the other side of high school.  And please, DO NOT believe that high school is "the best days of your life" if that were true we'd all be in trouble.

The best days are coming, and they will come.  So for now cry, find someone who will listen, and know that you have so much going for you than what is going on right now.  Please don't commit suicide.  You are worth more than that.

Love and Peace,
Kelli

Happy 4th of July Weekend!

I don't know how you are going to spend your weekend, but mine includes sleep.  Lots of it.  However, it begins by going out to dinner with friends while there is a downpour and I'm rather worried about my hair... I wouldn't worry but I don't have a rubber band and my hair is kind of scary when it has been wetted down.  The top sticks to my head like Alfalfa on Little Rascals and the lower part spreads out as if it had ambitions of being a 'fro.  Not pretty and the fact this will be made public at a Chili's is even worse...somehow.

Other than that it has been a good day.  I dedicated the Top 5 to our Nation's Independence Day.  I so love this country and want nothing but the best for it.  And I'm so grateful for all who have sacrificed to make it the best on Earth.

And this song, well it gets me every time.  Enjoy and have a great 4th of July!

Feeling Vulnerable

I haven't felt this horrible about myself since August 2008 when I looked in Denise's mirror in Mexico and really saw all 260 pounds of myself. I know I had gained weight, someone close to me pointed it out in a rather crude manner. I felt so disgusting and ugly at that moment that I believe it will be forever lodged in my memory.

Flash forward to today, (at least 25 pounds lighter, but obviously still heavy), and I think I've had that sort of moment again. I have had horrible skin since I started puberty. I was a thin girl before it got a hold of me with beautiful creamy skin. Now, I suffer from roseca and I field questions from kids about my skin. My self confidence is shot, has been for a while, and I'm usually able to rally myself around the fact that it will get better.

However, day after day, and year after year, I can't help but lose that hope. I have been hoping for so long for so many things and I've tried so hard to pray, to hope, to have faith, and I'm so disappointed now that I just feel like resigning myself to the fact that it doesn't get better than this. I know that's not true, but that is how it feels.

It's 12:23 in the morning and I need to get some sleep, but I just couldn't get past the tears tonight. Writing always makes me feel better, and so excuse this self indulgence in self pity, I just needed something tangible to tell this too. I hope soon, very soon, I can give you the praise report I've been praying and hoping for.

With love, Kelli.

I'm baaack! And Other Travel Condrums.

Ha ha. No I'm not the exorist, although if I didn't get any sleep... Not the point of this. So, I'm finally back home. I have no plans to leave any time soon. What this means is I'm in the "I'm Back! Crap, I have to unpack" stage. I hate that stage. My favorite is packing, getting ready for the trip. That is fun. I could care less about unpacking, but unfortunately it is something that must be done.

I have come up with an unpacking guide for those who feel about unpacking the way I do. Today's topic is the first thing you should do when you get ready to unpack. That is, assess the vacation you just had. (I usually take a day for this).

For example, I went and stayed with my aunt and her family. I had a blast. We went up and down the coast and I got to see some beautiful homes. However, her air-conditioning wasn't working in her vehicle so we had to roll the windows down. And, as and idiot, I didn't put on sun block. So my arm got nice and burnt/tan. The kicker? I had a t-shirt on so I got an amazing Farmer's Tan!

Photo Proof:

Sad isn't it? The even worse part? The other arm looks normal. :rolls eyes: How this continually happens to me I'll never know, but now you get to share in the experiences that are my life.

Tomorrow I'll show you my room, which should scare the snot out of you, and we'll take the next step in my guide to un-packing. Really, you shouldn't do it right away, that's overwhelming and scary. Mine allows you to get it all done, and at a managable rate. Believe me you'll thank me later for it.

How to Look Good: Embrace the farmer's tan. If anyone gives you grief point out that you were on an incredible vacation. What have they done?

How to Feel Good: Know that noe one is going to be coming to your house any time soon, so you have time to clean, and keep people interested in your vacation photos. You'll get the place clean soon enough!