Restored Sunshine's The Everything Girl

Commitment

2012-01-29T16:51:00.000-06:00

I am going to come out and say it: As a thirty year old single woman I am a bit of a commitment phobe. Although not when it comes to humans and dogs... Everything else though, that is open to discussion.

I have never been someone who knew exactly what they wanted to do. Too many things interested me, and the idea of working at one job for the rest of my life gives me hives.

This also explains why I haven't settled into this blog yet. I don't like to be tied down unless it is on a roller coaster, and then it is fine. I'm scared of heights you know. Therefore this blog has no difinitive theme. That would box me in, and I can't have that. Remember the hives?

Furthermore it is the reason I can't choose a favorite song, band, album, movie, or TV show. Too many good ones. So many more to come. Who wants to stay on just one? I can't even pick a favorite soda: Coke, Dr. Pepper, Pepsi, Sunkist, A&W Root Beer, Sprite, 7Up, Cherry Coke, Cherry Pepsi, Ginger Ale, even Fresca.... okay my family would probably tell you I do have a favorite, Cherry Coke. Maybe that was a bad example.

I know, favorite color. Don't have one. I love the rainbow. Now there are some I'm partial to such as red and green. And then yellow, blue, pink, and purple. And the shades in between. Especially if they're bright. Not neon, but bright, like Kelly Green.

What is the moral of this? Nothing. I just wanted to give you some insight into my brain, and why with me, change happens, often.

Move
by Mercy Me

Much Love,
Kelli

On A Sad Note

2012-01-15T21:53:00.000-06:00

I haven't posted for a few days. On Thursday I found out my co-worker's, Lisa, husband was diagnosed with cancer. He has a 22 cm mass in his stomach and the cancer is wrapped around his gall bladder and pancreas. They aren't sure where it is coming from. He is only 46 years old. And they have a 12 and 1 year old together. Any prayers you might be able to spare them would be much appreciated.

Then on Saturday while celebrating a friend's birthday my mother texted me that my grandpa's wife passed away. (I would use the term step-grandmother, but it just sounds odd.) My heart breaks for my grandpa. My grandmother died one (1!) day before their 50th anniversary. And now his second wife has passed...

So, I will be on my way to the funeral, it takes place on Tuesday, but because the trip is eight hours we will be leaving tomorrow.

Hold the ones you love close!

Much Love,
Kelli

One Tree Hill

2012-01-11T07:00:00.003-06:00

I started watching this show back in the fourth season because my baby sister started watching it and I wanted to see what she found so interesting. Three episodes in and I was hooked. So good, bad, or ever so soapy, I have happily watched for the last five years.

I thought I would take a moment and reflect on some of my favorites of this show:

Favorite Character: Haley. There are so many differences between this character and I, but so many things I see that we have in common. She is sweet, tenacious. fiercely loyal, and ever loving. She is played by the ever so cool, Bethany Joy Galeotti, and is one of the reasons I kept coming back year after year. And on a vain note: love her hair.

Favorite Couple: Nathan & Haley. My romantic heart just adores this couple. They are probably the real reason I keep coming back season after season. They have been together since Season 1, and One Tree Hill would not be the same without them. I was never about the Peyton-Lucas-Brooke triangle. I was all about this young love finding its way.

Favorite Season: The 3rd Season. With Haley and Nathan on the verge of divorce (she left him for the spot light), the shooting of beloved Uncle Keith, and the continued downward spiral of villain Dan this season brings out the best of the show. Obviously my couple reconcile, but the heart of this show was displayed so well here. If you watch any season at all, watch this one.

A really great show. And the video below encompasses what made it so wonderful. My favorite One Tree Hill Cast Video ever, and so perfectly in-tune to this moment.

All We Are
by OneRepublic

Much Love,
Kelli

The Moment of Nerd

2012-01-07T07:30:00.000-06:00

I once read, "I do my best proofreading after I hit send." I thought... how do they know I do that?

And then I saw this on pinterest and I couldn't stop laughing:

(from Pinterest via Quickmeme)

And that was when I knew I was enjoying a moment of nerd.

Much Love,
Kelli

Thankful Thursday

2012-01-05T09:12:00.003-06:00

I need structure and organization, otherwise I forget to do things, decide not to do them, or go off the rails. None of which are very helpful, so I create things for myself to keep me somewhat on track. I can be a rules breaker, usually my own rules...

So, I was in need of a new prayer journal since I had finished my Billy Graham one, and I found the one I had been using before. I read some journal entries that were dated about this time last year, and what I wanted to accomplish or have happen. I was humbled by how much I had received from that list.

So what I am thankful for this week?

My job. I enjoy, for the most part, the people I work with, and I most certainly enjoy my pay check. It has allowed me to get a new vehicle and buy little luxuries such as Justified Season 2... However, the reason I bring it up today is that they are changing my schedule from Monday through Friday to Tuesday through Saturday. Hopefully for a brief time, and by reminding myself I am thankful for the job I won't complain...too much.
Movies. How awesome are movies? Aren't you glad they were created? Sure some could have been left in the dust...I'm talking to you Vanilla Sky, but for the most part they are quite enjoyable. On Monday I saw Sherlock Holmes II with my sister Lora (which was awesome). And on Saturday I'm suppose to see Mission: Impossible IV. Very grateful for that.

Friends. Have I told you how awesome my friend Shas and her family are? No? I will dedicate a whole post to my beloved BFF, but the reason she is on here today is because last Saturday we got to spend the whole day together including New Years Eve. We haven't done that in a while, and it was marvelous. It was the best way to end 2011.

(This was us just after midnight)

I am really quite humbled by how blessed I am, and the blessings that are coming. I know I don't deserve them, but am truly grateful for all I receive. A big thanks to you.

I got a $10.00 gift certificate to Amazon to which I bought music. This is one of the songs I bought:

Say It Right

by: Nelly Furtado

Much Love,
Kelli

Resolutions?

2012-01-02T16:13:00.000-06:00

Technically my resolutions should have taken place today, but since I had the day off and I still consider it the holiday it all starts tomorrow (that's my story and I'm sticking to it). Which will be tough. Trying to write about this subject and not seem preach-y is nearly impossible. The truth is I always start off with the best of intentions, and by about the second or third week in January have failed.

I did find though that once I changed the word 'resolution' to 'goal' it became easier to maintain. A goal is something to attain, and therefore once I've conquered it I feel better. Whereas to me a resolution means a complete life style change and that seems so enduringly long I usually don't stick with it.

Last year I made a goal of doing a prayer journal and getting my Twitter followers to 40. I have completed my prayer journal (I used a Billy Graham one), and I have read the entire New Testament (Part of the Journal). Plus, I now have 61 Twitter followers.

So this year I have two new goals:

To get in the habit of working out for 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes at night, except for Wednesday and Friday nights.
To start using an eye make up remover every time I wash my face. I'm in my thirties now, gotta make sure I take even more care of my skin.

And that's it. I might add, as I do, to the goal list, but I try to keep it more than one, and five or less. Too many and I freak out.

This song always puts me in a great mood, and fits with how excited I am for the new year.

The Finer Things
by: Steve Winwood

Much Love,
Kelli

PS: I adored the new Sherlock Holmes movie. Of course I liked the first one too...

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T10:18:00.000-06:00

"Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man." - Ben Franklin

I can't believe 2012 is here. I hope you all had a most wonderful New Years Eve and are enjoying the new year much like myself. Although I wish I had gotten ready to go to church... not a great way to start the year off spiritually. Still, I thank God for his blessings and His hand upon my life. I would be no where without Him. His love saves me every day, and I am so glad that we have such a loving and wonderful Creator.

I have some people in my life that are going through some of the same struggles I did, and as I look back to see how I got through it all only one answer comes to mind: Jesus. I hate how sinful I am, how in the blink of an eye I can go from a spiritual high to a sinful low, but I am so very grateful I serve the God of Another Chance. I can't explain his love, but it is one I desperately need and couldn't be without. I am whole because of Him.

I want to thank him publicly and hope all of you have a most wonderful and blessed 2012!

Much Love,
Kelli

2011 Reflections

2011-12-31T17:00:00.001-06:00

What a year! I started off my year rather broke, and looking for some help. I ended it with me having a job with insurance, a new car, and paying my bills. It was what I had been hoping for this time last year.

So, I thought I would reflect on the big events for this year (mostly personal).

May - I got a new job. Scary, but good. I've enjoyed it so far, but it has certainly made me want to be corporate not work for corporate.

June - I turned 30. 30!

August - Shas gave birth to Baylor. Isn't he a cutie?

September - Lora left for Michigan.

November - Bought a new car! Very scary and exciting.

Of course my biggest challenge will be tonight as I struggle to stay awake until midnight. Then again if it does become a family affair and we play Classic Rock Trivial prusuit it could become a blood bath. And one does not simply fall asleep during a blood bath.

I would like to say I'm kidding about the intesity at which my family plays a trivia game involving music, but I am not. You're welcome to come, but you're on your own and if you don't know, don't speak.

Okay, now that I've revealed that...

Have a happy and safe new year everyone!

Much Love,
Kelli

Melissa

2011-12-30T10:45:00.004-06:00

A few months ago I posted about my sister, Lora, and now it is Melissa's turn. Melissa is my second sister, and from the moment she was born I was in love with her. She was so patient and very smart as I had to teach her everything I learned while in school.

(This is Melissa and Grandpa W.)

She left us after she graduated high school to the rocky mountains, and has stayed there since. Still as smart as ever. I still remember when I helped her move into her dorm room. In Kansas we saw a dirt tornado that I have never seen duplicated. Good memories.

Her love and passion for music is certainly something I share, but perhaps not our taste. However, there are a few we do agree on: Placebo and Mumford and Sons. There might be more, but Melissa's a dancer and I have two left feet.

Her ability to calmly argue with anyone on anything is remarkable. She is always funny, and has a unique outlook on the world and the way it works. But like her Twitter describes her, she is a slow driver, but her commentary while driving makes up for it. You should hear it sometime.

Always an original, and following her path with Christ Melissa is unlike anyone I have ever met or known. I'm blessed to have her as my sister and I pray that her burdens be light.

So for a song she introduced me to:

The New Sound
by: The Capricorns

Much Love to Melissa,
From Kelli

Thankful Thursday

2011-12-29T08:00:00.001-06:00

Did you have a wonderful Christmas? I did. I feel overwhelmingly blessed by it. My dad and I drove to Kansas on Christmas morning and then drove back on Monday getting back at about 8:00, as I had to work this week. However, hearing my grandpa say it was one of the best Christmas he has ever had was certainly worth it.

Which leads me to:

3 Day Weekends. Aren't they wonderful? I start my new work schedule next week: Tuesday through Saturday, so I won't have many of them for the next few months, but I will so enjoy this one.
Family. Because they understand. In Kansas I got to see some cousins I haven't seen in years. We ended up discussing Grandma's food and all of us mentioned her Waldorf salad. (She always took the celery out for me.) And her friend chicken. It was so nice to talk with them and know they knew how awesome she was.
Presents. I love giving and receiving them, and I especially love when I get some extra cash that I can actually use to go shopping. Which I will be doing Saturday. Hopefully. Can't wait!

Oh, I'm also on Pinterest, if you want to find me: kelli_restored.

I so enjoy this song. My favorite line is "I've been 'Yes' and I've been 'Oh Hell No'" Cause I have:

Save Me San Francisco
by: Train

Much Love,
Kelli

Thankful Thursday

2011-12-22T19:22:00.000-06:00

Goodness I forgot what working retail was like during the holiday season. I think everyone who had an attitude decided to show up at my place of work yesterday. Thankfully today I got to take the afternoon off, and stand in line with those people... which makes me thankful for the following:

Christmas Season - It is my favorite time of year. Sure rude people, nasty drivers, large crowds, and crazy people do not deter my love of this season. They put a damper on it for the moment, but it is still a great time of year. Yes, I am that woman that sings Christmas tunes while shopping. Ducking down now.
Casual Day - Tomorrow I get to wear jeans. That makes everything better.
My Dog. He's just so darn cute.

Tongue Tied

by Grouplove

Much Love,

Kelli

Thankful Thursday

2011-12-15T10:00:00.000-06:00

I think this week has moved a little slow only because I've been anticipating breakfast and shopping with my mother on Saturday. However, since I love the Christmas season, and I have had such a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit lately I think it is good it is moving slow. I can enjoy it longer.

With that said....

Rain. It has rained this week. If you are not in Texas I'm sure you've heard of the drought we've been experiencing and the water restrictions. I'm very thankful for it. A nice slow, gentle rain, which will certainly help.
Christmas Parties. I love party food. It is that simple.
Style. According my sister Lora, I acquired some while she was gone. I resent that, as I've always had style, but if people think I'm looking good I'll take it.

A capture of the way I'm feeling:

We Need A Little Christmas
by: Johnny Mathis

Much Love,
Kelli

Relieved!

2011-12-13T20:29:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I had been accused of being in a bad mood. I don't know that I was in a bad mood as much as I was in a quiet mood, but I was outnumbered in that assessment. (I really wasn't though!)

As timing would have it as I was driving home last night I heard Creed's "My Own Prison", which is one of the few songs of theirs I truly enjoy and still listen to. I started singing the song out loud, thankfully alone. I still have some lingering cold and I sound more like a moose looking for a mate than a singer. Poor God. He had to hear that.

The lyrics to "My Own Prison" have always had an effect on me, and last night was no different. I was imagining the scene of someone who knew that their time was up and no amount of regret was going to change the situation. For a split second my heart was in my throat as I felt the fear of that day.

However, I know I will not have to ever bear witness to that scene, my peace came flooding back. Just then though my heart broke as I thought of those who have denied their Creator. I have several loved ones who don't accept Christ as their savior, and to know they face that...

And it isn't so much death either as knowing what they are missing out on now. Constant access to peace, love, strength, joy, compassion, healing, relief, hope, wisdom, and so much more. While I was in my prayer time last night I had to take a moment and thank God for being God.

Where would I be without Jesus? When I was in high school would I have taken my life because of the bullying? Would I have gone into a tail spin when my beloved grandmother died and I was already feeling so lost? My answer would be I hope not, but I can tell you with all certainty that had it not been for Christ and His love for me I would be in a very different place than I am right now.

His overwhelming love for me, and his constant patience with me as a sinner is incomparable and unwavering. I pray for my loved ones to feel this, to know this for themselves. And I pray it for all of you.

The best part? It doesn't matter what religion you are, where you are, what you do, what you've done, or your political beliefs (that's a joke, but seriously...), all you have to do is accept Christ as your personal savior.

How easy is that? It is for everyone in the world, no matter of background. And you don't have to belong to organized religion at all.

Truly, praise Jesus!

My Own Prison
by Creed

*Feel free to discuss any of what I said with me in the comments.

Much Love,
Kelli

Thankful Thursday

2011-12-08T18:38:00.000-06:00

A little late today, but I'm here.
Does anyone else watch Sons of Anarchy? Was that finale not phenomenal? My goodness!! Season 3's finale is still my favorite, but Season 4 just blew me away.
Okay, back to what I'm thankful for:

My ears. I've been sick this week, and have had a tough time breathing, and nothing makes appreciate the norm like not having it. However, when I got a little spastic about my car not recognizing the new song on my USB I realized how thankful I am for my ears. And the Broadway channel on XM.
My parents. Awe... I know. Honestly though I really do have amazing parents. Still married, in love, driving each other nuts and giggling about it, loving me and my sisters beyond reason, and going out of their way to ensure a good life for us. I am more than blessed with these two.

(Back Row R-L: Lora, Me, Dad, Mom Front Row R-L: Melissa, Andi)
Jesus. Sometimes I get carried away with life. Sometimes I get caught up with the have nots, and hard pathway, and then I remember the joy that comes from knowing Christ. The peace, the love, the joy, the compassion, the grace, the healing, the help, the favor... and I remember why this man changed my life. And why I've dedicated my life to following him.

So what song was I having a cow about? It is a cover of "House of the Rising Sun", but the lyrics have been changed for Tara/Jax on Sons of Anarchy and done from Tara's point of view. Just phenomenal, and I hope you take a listen:

House of the Rising Sun
by: The White Buffalo & The Forest Rangers

Much Love,
Kelli

We Interrupt This Posting....

2011-12-05T22:04:00.000-06:00

So from Thursday to today (Monday) I have had no less than five major technological issues.

My phone on Wednesday night gave me the white screen of death. Dead it was. Sad, so very sad.
My laptop decided it didn't need to have a bright screen.
My camera hooked into my computer. My computer recognized my camera. However, it would not let me take any of my photos (which is why I still haven't posted any new hair pictures).
My new car doesn't recognize my new phone.
When I logged onto my computer at work today my mainframe was... something. Technical support had to un-install and then reinstall to get it to come back.

Perhaps #4 isn't a major one, but after everything it is a pain in the butt.

However, the following happened:

AT&T replaced my phone with a new one, same model.
Thanks to Google and Boards to get my screen back all I had to do was press the fn button and the arrow up button - to brighten. Much better.
I haven't tried the camera and computer together. One issue at a time.
My car still doesn't recognize my phone. Will probably have to employ the Google/Board combo again.
After 30 minutes this morning my computer is back to good.

So while there should be a nice post here of my long hair before and short hair after there isn't. And due to those issues no pictures of the Pineapple Upside Down Mini Bundt Cakes. Oh well. Hopefully I'll get to bake some cookies this week.

Oh, new song I like:

Start A Fire
by Ryan Star

Much Love,
Kelli

Thankful Thursday

2011-12-01T10:00:00.003-06:00

Thankful people are happier people, or so I am told. The Bible certainly backs up this thought, so why not dedicate a day to being thankful. We could call it something like Thanksgiving...have it in November when the cold wind makes you hungry...

Perhaps that already is a national holiday, but being thankful at least once a week is not. So, I am going to try every Thursday to post three things I am thankful for.

My new car. - The engine was about to drop out of my beloved mustang. Plus, I don't have much credit, so the fact I was able to get the exact vehicle I wanted is nothing short of God's grace and favor on me. I am most grateful.
My sister being home. - Lora surprised us on Thanksgiving by coming home. I've missed her. I know there are opportunities for her to leave again, but I am thankful for the time she is home.
Not having to work this Friday. - I got to take the day off and still get paid for it. I don't think you can get much better than that in the working world. So I plan to get my hair cut off (donating to locks of love), and making pineapple upside mini bundt cakes for my bff, Shas, for her birthday.

I will be posting pictures of both my new hair and recipe after Friday. Until then I hope you find three things you are grateful for, and I hope it brings a smile to your face.

Good Life

by OneRepublic

Much Love,

Kelli

Sour Cream Cherry Streusel Pie

2011-11-29T10:00:00.002-06:00

(Tastes & Looks Better than the picture!)

Adapted from Sugar Plum's Chocolate Chip Struesel Topped Cherry Sour Cream Pie

I changed a few things for convenience... and with it being a day before Thanksgiving some ingredients had already been taken from the shelves. However, it turned out beautifully and tasted wonderfully. I made this for the office, but I will make it again soon, and this time I will use white chocolate chips as my family are not big chocolate fans.

Ingredients:

Pie:

1 Can of Cherry Pie Filling

1/2 Cup of Sour Cream

1 Pie Crust - you can make your own or buy it.

Streusel:

3/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar

1/2 cup all-purpose flour

1/4 teaspoon salt

2/3 cup dark chocolate chips

1/4 cup sliced almonds, toasted

6 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut into tiny pieces

Preheat Oven to 350 degrees.

Combine the cherry filling and sour cream. Should look neon pink. I really wish I had a picture of it.

Place pie crust into baking dish (if you actually made yours, well there are instructions for that).

Then pour the filling into the uncooked crust.

I baked mine for 15 minutes without the streusel because my oven is wacky and would have burned the streusel before even getting to the pie. (So in real oven terms you're looking at 20-25 minutes).

While the filling is baking put all of the streusel ingredients together. I ended up just cutting my butter with a knife into the topping and then with my hands combining it all together.

When the filling had baked I took it out and covered it in the streusel. Then I put it all back into the oven and baked it for another 15 minutes (again, if you're oven is normal 20-25 minutes).

It really was delicious. I can't wait to make it again.

As for the song... I just couldn't resist:

Cherry Pie

by Warrant

Much Love,

Kelli

Busy Body

2011-11-27T16:18:00.000-06:00

As some might have noticed I've been a little MIA lately. I took an unannounced break from blogging while I focused on different perusals, like Pinterest. Ha! Except I have been on pinterest a little too much for saying I'm a casual visitor.

Blessings have been abounding in my life. I read posts from myself this time last year and to say that God has more than abundantly blessed me would be an understatement. Just keep leaning on him if your season right now isn't exactly what you had hoped for.

To make this easy I've compiled a list of things that have changed:

I got a new car:

It was exactly what I wanted.

They even ended up having to give me a great amount on the trade-in of my much beloved yellow mustang. The best part was I did it all by myself. No parents.

I really am starting my thirties out much more differently than I did my twenties, which I am more than grateful for. I know this is going to be a great decade for me. I can't wait to see what else happens.

As for other things... no... that might be about it actually... not to worry though I have lots of stuff coming up. I've been baking up a storm, and on Friday I'm chopping off all my hair and donating it to Locks of Love.

In the meantime I have this gem:

Love & Memories
by: OAR

Much Love,
Kelli

Two Things

2011-10-09T21:36:00.001-05:00

So this weekend was wonderfully doused with rain. I couldn't praise God enough for that. And in this weekend two things have captured my attention.

1. Buster Keaton

A silent screen comedian/actor/director/writer. I didn't know much about him until today when I was watching TCM and they had his movies on screen. I love classic movies, but I don't really watch many silent films. For Buster, though, I believe I will have to make an exception. Truly funny, and his effects astound me.

2. String Quartet Music

I started listening to this genre of popular songs being re-done in string quartets since I discovered, "Black Hole Sun" by The Section Quartet. Beautifully done to say the least. So, Friday night when I was watching the Greatest Songs of the 2000's they played "Pocket Full of Sunshine" by Natasha Bedingfield. I like that song, and went to see how much it would cost me to download. (A $1.29 by the way.) However, they had a string quartet version of it, and I was intrigued.

I've been enraptured by this movement all weekend. If you haven't heard it before may I be the one to introduce it to you.

Pocket Full of Sunshine

by Vitamin String Quartet

Much Love,

Kelli

Courageous

2011-10-02T21:46:00.000-05:00

I went and saw this movie today with my dad and church family. It was a wonderful movie, and I highly recommend it to anyone. I have to say my favorite part though was the reaction from the audience. In one scene a father is telling his fifteen year old girl that if the boy she likes doesn't respect her parents then he won't respect her. There was a chorus of women going, "Mmmhmmm." and you could practically feel the head move that came with that.

This was a fabulous Christian-based film. See it and support it if you get the chance.

And I can't wait until this movie comes out:

A Joyful Noise!

When I saw it had Dolly Parton AND Queen Latifa I was sold. I love both of those women. There are some good movies coming out and I can't wait to see them!

And on a personal note, I'm starting a new blog. I don't know if I'll keep this one or not, but I feel the need to start a new one. You can view it here: Defending Awkward (Since 1981)

Much Love,
Kelli.

The Ponytail

2011-09-29T20:32:00.000-05:00

I have a deep desire to wear the perfect ponytail. I didn't always have this obsession, until the premiere of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's true. At the end of the season Buffy wore a leather jacket, and my quest for the perfect ponytail began.

See:

The picture may be a little blurry but you get the idea. I've tried for years to duplicate it, but it has still remained elusive.

And then I saw Brenda Lee Johnson's ponytail from The Closer. And again I set off on a new ideal, something else to try...

This one I know requires a curling iron, which I don't have time for during the work week, but still... it just never quites get there.

And finally there is this one. From Haley James Scott in Season 4 of One Tree Hill....

And yet no...

Maybe I just need someone to show me how. Or get a stylist to do it. However, I don't think my quest for the perfect ponytail will stop any time soon.

My question to you is, what beauty trick eludes you? Or have you been able to conquer it, and please share with me!!

Cooler Than Me
by: Mike Posner

Much Love,
Kelli

To Keep Moving

2011-09-25T21:45:00.001-05:00

I did something today that hurt. It still hurts. I had to tell my co-pastor that I had to step down as a Sunday school teacher. The look on his face made it nearly impossible to keep the tears at bay because this isn't something I want to do, but it is something I need to do. I love my church family. I'm not leaving, leaving, but I will no longer be there on Sunday mornings.

My church doesn't have a big singles group, in fact I am the only single girl there (at my age). And even in my own social circle I am the only single girl. I need people in my life who are where I am, and I can't find that in my current circumstances. I would like to meet someone special, but if I don't that's okay too. I do, however, want to meet other singles who are my age. More importantly other Christian singles.

My church family is like my real family. I love them dearly. I will still be there for Wednesday night Bible Study, and our Ninevite Outreach Program, but the time has come to go on. It isn't an easy decision, and not one I would make on my own. However, I had three separate sources who said the exact same thing to me, and not one of them speaks to the other.

I guess I'm posting this to not only help with the pain of it, but to also encourage you. If there is a comfort zone you are being asked to move away from I'm there with you. You can do it, and you should. I'm here for you and you can take comfort in the fact someone else understands.

Believe it or not I take great comfort in a song by REO Speedwagon, which to me just sounds like God speaking to me:

"As soon as you are able
Woman, I am willing
To make a break
that we are on the brink of

My cup is on the table
My love is spilling
Waiting for you to take
and drink of

So if you're tired of
the same old story
Turn some pages
I'll be here when you are ready
to roll with the changes"

And I feel like the second set of verses are my response to Him. A little weird perhaps, but that's how God works with me.

Roll with the Changes
by REO Speedwagon

Much Love,
Kelli

Dreamed a Dream

2011-09-22T06:31:00.000-05:00

No really... I have been having some bizarre dreams lately. Just a run down:

I waved at an angel. I couldn't see the face or the bottom legs, but I waved, it came back and waved at me. It was also snowing, and the large tree in front of my window? Gone.
I dreamt of the secret to my blog's success. Unfortunately I don't remember it now.
I had a secret council meeting with my second mom (hi Debbie!) and with Greg from work. (hi Greg!).
My second family printed resumes and went looking for jobs, first up, Disney Store. I went with them for moral support. Do not wish to change jobs at this time.

I guess my big question to you is, what sort of weird dreams have you been having or had? Or what was your weirdest dream?

Mine include:

Killing a group of quasi-Nazi soldiers (they were putting me and other people into a concentration camp). I couldn't let that happen so I lead a group of rebels. I woke up with the feeling of the small-person soldier grasping my ankle as I tried to crush his throat with my boot.
Being forced to watch airplanes crash if I didn't divulge national secrets.
Picking up my car ala Fred Flinstone style to out run the cops because I had several criminals stuffed in various places of the car (and this was a compact, not SUV).
Saving my baby sister from being kidnapped in Mexico, not sure what to do, and then seeing my pastor there.
Sitting in a huge lake, surrounded by Mountains (looked English/Irish) and a dragon was under the water about to come up.

So please don't feel shy in sharing!

Dream Police
by: Cheap Trick

Much Love,
Kelli

Lora

2011-09-19T20:30:00.001-05:00

This beautiful girl/woman is my sister, Lora. She was my first sister. When my parents told me we were adding to our family I wanted a girl. I remember at five being excited when she could roll over and sit up on her own. I thought that was awesome.

We did not always get along. And her ability to sell ice to Eskimos allowed her to convince our younger sister, Melissa, that I was, in fact, the Boogieman. We have quite the past the two of us, but it has been great to be her sister and friend.

Lora is amazing because of her ability to rescue you at moments you didn’t know you needed to be rescued. She has been there for me more than I can possibly put in this post, but I’m certainly glad she is my sister. Plus, she is ridiculously funny. I’ve never known one person who thought Lora was anything but.

She has recently moved out of the state to start a new adventure. She is very much missed here, but we are so excited for her. We hope that she has the best time while she is out there.

(Dad says her room might or might not be available when she comes back, but I'm sure that's just teasing... right Dad?)

Meanwhile I'll just call her after Sons of Anarchy and we can discuss what we just saw. If she isn't too busy.

Much love to my sister!

I'm so very proud of her!

Love her awesome music taste!

This will always remind me of her (and there were many to choose from)

Me & Bobby McGee

by Janis Joplin

Much Love,

Kelli

Remembering

2011-09-10T07:01:00.001-05:00

I don't believe that there is one of us who was alive and aware on that day who doesn't remember how they found out, where they were, or the ultimate impact it had on them. I was in Spanish class, and we were laughing with our teacher over one of her first blunders speaking the language. She had needed soap for her shower, but said sopa, which is soup in Spanish. The lady looked at her weird, but brought her soup. Then her cell phone rang and she was startled as it never went off. She shrugged and said it was her daughter and would call her later.

Then her phone rang again. By that time class was ready for dismissal, and as I stepped out into the hall to get to Algebra everyone was buzzing over something. When I finally sat down in class the story was the twin towers were down, the pentagon was gone, and another plane was heading somewhere. Frankly I was terrified because the information wasn't all in it sounded like the whole country was under siege. It wasn't until I was in my car on my way to work after Algebra that I was able to hear what happened.

On Wednesday the next day our church decided not to have our individual classes, but come together as a group. The community, as always, was invited to join us. That day they did. I've never seen our church more packed then I did on that day. It breaks my heart to think that as much as we may remember, we don't. Tomorrow is the beginning of our Sunday school year. I teach grades second through fifth. Most of them were born after 2001 and the couple that weren't were born in that year. They will never have a memory of a time when it wasn't like it is now.

I've missed some big days as well. Such as December 7, 1941 or November 22, 1963, but like my parents and grandparents, and great grandparents I will never forget the events of September 11th, 2001, and I have no doubt neither will you. My deepest condolences to those families who lost loved ones. My deepest gratitude to those who died trying to save people. My prayers to those who still need solace.

Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning
by Alan Jackson

Much Love,
Kelli

Dog Tired

2011-09-08T05:34:00.000-05:00

This is my dog, whom I am affectionately calling Love Bug right now. However, in his near fourteen years of life he seems to have forgotten which side of the bed he sleeps on.

Example A:

and Example B:

Don't let that face fool you, it is a ploy to let him sleep there. After all I woke up this morning and he was on that side (I had scooted over in my sleep), and he stole the covers.

I think I may change his affectionate name to Sleepus Interruptus.

(this song has nothing to do with a dog being tired, but since I'm getting ready for work its nice.)

9 to 5

by Dolly Parton

Much Love,

Kelli

Falling Into Sweetness

2011-09-05T11:54:00.000-05:00

It has been a few weeks I know. I hope you all are doing well. My best friend, Shas, gave birth to her baby boy last week. We are so excited to have him with us, and I can't wait to share some pictures. So technically I'm a new aunt!

The temperatures have changed here and now we are actually experiencing the beginning of some fall weather. Which for Texas means below triple-digit heat.

Okay, the real reason I haven't posted in a while is because I've been writing. A story. A book really... that takes time. And thanks to my new job I've also had the funds to do more than just stay home. I've been to Women of Faith (which was phenomenal and I recommend it to everyone!). I've started to sponsor a girl, Happiness, which I certainly hope my contribution can bring her some.

But I have much to say still here. Thoughts and feelings that I can't seem to express except on paper. Thank you for the respite. Much love to all of you out there.

I hope you enjoy your labor day and I'll see you back here soon.

Sweet Disposition

by: The Temper Trap

Much Love,

Kelli

Thursday Morning Reflection

2011-08-11T06:33:00.000-05:00

Don't you wish sometimes you could just stop sinning? Especially the sins you struggle with the most. I feel awful after I've done it, and sometimes I feel worse doing it, but yet I still do it....

When I reflect on what it is I've done, and how much it must hurt God, it breaks my heart. And I know there is no other way to stop except to pray. Praise be to God that not only are we forgiven, but that this sin is taken away. Peace is restored because I know I bare it no more.

Thank you Jesus.

(as you can tell two posts down I do have a problem with language, but that is only one of the many sins I do... unfortunately.)

Roll Away Your Stone
by Mumford & Sons

Much Love,
Kelli

90 Days

2011-08-10T06:33:00.000-05:00

Celebrating 90 Days!

I am celebrating 90 days at my job today! I'm off the standard probation and I get to start my benefits today. Very exciting.

Celebration
by Kool & the Gang

Much Love,
Kelli

Slid in Shit

2011-08-08T22:01:00.000-05:00

The Boomtown Rats have a hit called, "I Don't Like Mondays" and the repeated statement in this gem of a song is, "Tell me why I don't like Mondays". I could tell you why today I don't like Mondays. It started with me sliding through shit. (My apologies to the offended on my use of language today.)

I let my dog outside. I got my sister's dog and took her out as well. I knew she might try something when she didn't use the outside facilities. So when I saw her heading for under the coffee table I took after her picking her up, not seeing that while I was in a desperate flee to get her back outside she had already dropped her weapon. And I slid in it.

The day proceeded with me paying four cents more for gas so I could use the car wash because some birds had stomach problems and had shit all over my car. Do you see a theme? And the worst part is I'm not making any of it up! However, the car wash was out, so I had to drive down the road and pay six bucks to get it cleaned off. I wouldn't know until I got to work that it didn't get it all off, but after the morning I had it really didn't surprise me.

While on my trek to work I had not eaten breakfast so I stopped by McDonald's to get breakfast knowing that when I got to work if one person commented on my large coke and sausage biscuit with cheese there would be a disgruntled response. Thankfully for everyone involved no one said anything. To make up for my 32 oz of Coke I drank water the rest of the day.

However, my food in take is not the center of this story. No, the beginning of my day was just it warning me as to what I was going to face. I knew it was coming and yet I just wasn't prepared for what would happen. Do you read the comic strip, Dilbert? I do. I find it funny. But NEVER have I ever had a first hand experience like the one Dilbert so brilliantly exposes week after week. Until today.

So I will leave it there. I don't need this post to come back and bite me in the butt on some other un-suspecting day. So it was only proper I finished it while watching Blazing Saddles and listening to...

I Don't Like Mondays
by Boomtown Rats

Much Love,
with Shit,

Kelli

Show Me

2011-08-07T07:36:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite songs of all time is "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" by U2. The last of the lyrics sum it up best for me:

I believe in the kingdom come
When all the colors bleed into one
Bleed into One,
Well Yes I'm still running
But I still Haven't Found
What I'm Looking For

You broke the bonds
and you loosened the chains
carried the cross of my shame
of my shame
You know I believe it
But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
by U2

Do you ever feel that way? Like you still haven't found what you are looking for? This has been quite a year for me. I went from me being flat broke to having a job and being able to save for a new car. I don't make enough yet to move out, but I'm on my way. At the same time this wasn't the job I saw myself doing. I still have aspirations of having my own business because being under the authority and structure I'm currently under is very chaffing.

However, I am content at the moment. Ever ambitious to do more and see more because that is who I am, but content in the path and the knowledge I'll get there. Still, I can't help but feel there is something else out there. And my big fear is that I will fill it with the wrong thing. And so I pray.

I have loved "Show Me What I'm Looking For" by Carolina Liar for a long time. And I never really paid attention to the lyrics before (which is odd for me), but I finally did and realized it was the answer to U2's song I had sung for so long. I don't really have an answer for the question what I'm looking for, but I do have to say I believe I am on my way.

Show Me What I'm Looking For
by Carolina Liar

Much Love,
Kelli

You Watch That?

2011-08-06T07:42:00.000-05:00

I realized after I started to write this that I have had several posts lately talking about movies, but they are a pleasure for me. But what started this post for me was a movie I actually own, but haven't watched in years, and was surprised to see being played on television.

A Smile Like Yours. A cute film starring Greg Kinnear and Lauren Holly. It is about a couple, the wife, who want children, but have a hard time conceiving. It is cute and sweet. And yet I really enjoy it. So it got me thinking about all the other movies I find cute and sweet. Which then made me want to put it in a blog because that is what I do.

I would love for you to tell me what your favorite little movie is. No need to be embarrassed. After you read mine you'll feel good about yours. I promise.

These are in no particular order: (Just kidding - they're in alphabetical order)

Bed of Roses (Christian Slater, Mary Stuart Masterson)
Because I Said So (Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore, Gabriel Macht - hot)
Confessions of a Shopaholic (Isla Fisher, Hugh Dancy) - I just pretend this movie has nothing to do with the fabulous books. If you want to see movies that live up to the book check out this post.
Connie and Carla (Nia Vardalos, Toni Collette) - This is just fabulous. If you love Broadway or Glee you need to watch this movie. How it wasn't a hit I'll never know.
Love Comes Softly (Katherine Heigl, Dale Midkiff) This is a great series, but my favorite are the first three.
The Magic of Ordinary Days (Keri Russell, Skeet Ulrich) A sweeter movie you will not find.

Penelope (Christina Ricci, James McAvoy) If you haven't seen this run now and watch it. I remember waiting for the release of it in the theater, it didn't happen, and then buying it the minute I knew the DVD would be out. So worth watching.
Pitcher and the Pin Up (Drew Johnson, Corinna Harney) This movie has several titles, The Road Home, Pitcher and the Playmate, etc. However, it is not what you think, or at least it wasn't what I thought. It is an extremely sweet film and I recommend it to anyone. (I put the picture on here so you could have an idea of what it looked like.)
Tortilla Soup (Hector Elizondo, Jacqueline Obradors and Tamara Mello) Is about chef dad and his three beautiful and very independent daughters. I watch this movie any time I'm feeling down and it always picks me back up. A great must see.

So there you have it. Some of my favorite cute and sweet and fun movies. What are yours?

A Smile Like Yours
by Natalie Cole

Much Love,
Kelli

Crazy, Stupid, Love Indeed

2011-08-05T06:29:00.002-05:00

Once again I went to the movies with my sisters. We didn't go to the late movie we went to the 7:00 show (I had some work to finish), but it was a pure joy. For one I actually bought popcorn and a drink, which I never do, but I was hungry. Andi's friend joined us. Lora brought cherries as her snack. And during the big reveal the screen went blank thanks to the rolling blackouts. Still, the movie came back, and we went on laughing.

The movie is a little long, but the content and acting, plus Ryan Gosling's ever hot body, made the movie. I could gush and gush about this movie, but it really boiled down to how sweetness and honesty are what restores your soul. Really amazing movie.

Of course afterward when we went to Chilis also helped make the night. The defining moment of the conversation being when Andi couldn't think of an analogy for being a fast drinker and went with this gem, "Quick like a sloth." Even the waiter wants to use that line.

However, the best part is and will remain the time I got to spend with my sisters. There is nothing like that crazy, stupid, love.

Speaking of... stellar soundtrack.

Just One Look
by Doris Troy

Much Love,
Kelli

Hello Giggles

2011-08-04T06:13:00.000-05:00

I'm sure many of you have heard of HelloGiggles, the site started by the ever cool Zooey Deschanel. It has been one of my favorite places to visit as it has a wealth of wonderful articles by many different people. Almost like a super blog, but much cooler.

If you haven't had the chance I suggest going to read it.

In the mean time I'll go get ready for work!

Centerfield
by John Fogerty

Much Love,
Kelli

Books vs Movies: The Great Matchup

2011-07-31T17:52:00.001-05:00

Most people will tell you the book is always better than the movie. I certainly agree with that statement. I still refuse to forgive the making of Michael Crichton’s book, Timeline, into a movie.

To say it was a joke is an understatement. If you haven’t read the book please do so it has everything: mystery, romance, science fiction, action, history, and drama. It doesn’t leave a genre out except maybe western, but there are posses and horses.

However, there are three movies that compete with my affections for the book:

The first one is Rebecca.

The book captured my attention my junior year in high school. Beautifully written with a mystery unlike any other, and it seems nearly impossible, but it isn’t until you’ve read the entire book you realize you never know the main character, the narrator’s name.

As a young girl I felt the fears and hesitations of the second Mrs. deWinter, and with time have come to understand and appreciate so much more of what Daphne DuMaurie did in this brilliant novel.

So, when I found out there was a movie version of the book I was slightly skeptical, but it was done by the ever cool Alfred Hitchcock. And so I rented the movie from JJ’s Video where I worked:

Alfred Hitchcock’s version of this movie is beyond beautiful. The look and feel of Manderly, the emotions from the actors, and the overall story were wonderfully rendered in this black and white film. Laurence Olivier plays a wonderfully handsome, warm, ever cool if not slightly scary Maxim deWinter. Joan Fontaine is perfect as the ever awkward and unsure 2nd Mrs. deWinter.

Plus my crush on George Sanders still holds up even though he plays Rebecca’s cousin.

The movie very much veers from the book in the manner of the death of Rebecca deWinter, and the ending. However, the slight innocence in this movie was refreshing and gave the story a more hopeful outlook versus the book.

Although if you haven’t seen the movie or read the book, read the book first! I don’t think you can truly appreciate all that Alfred Hitchcock brings to life without having read the book first.

The second movie and book combo is The Princess Bride.

Inconceivable, I know. I was always a fan of the movie, not knowing that it was based on the book. Then in my freshman year of high school I had read through Animal Farm faster than the other students (mostly out of sheer will to finish it. I hated that book!) and my teacher said I could read something a little more fun to counter balance what we were reading. I had a hard time reading it in class I was laughing so hard.

The movie has nothing on the book in terms of laughter and that is saying something. The movie does a great job with Prince Humperdink, Princess Buttercup, and of course the amazing Wesley (played by the crush worthy Carey Elwes).

And while the movie brings out the wonderful romance of Wesley and Buttercup I can’t help but think of the description set out in the book. And this is where the movie and the book do battle in my mind. Quite frankly they are both stellar and no matter what order you go in movie or book first both should delight in the most endearing of ways.

The final movie and book combo is Pride & Prejudice

I'll be honest when I was younger I had a hard time reading this book. However, soon I got into the rhythm of the language and I, like so many others, fell in love with the book.

When I was younger I didn't understand Mr. Darcy that well, but the older I got the more it made sense. Although I always identified more with Jane than Elizabeth, I always admired and longed-for Elizabeth's boldness.

(On a personal note I always thought Jane should do better because Mr. Bingley seemed like such a push over and I was never sure he would continually take care of her.)....

There have been several versions of this amazing book, but none of them come close to the 1995 A&E version of the book. Colin Firth was the PERFECT Mr. Darcy and Jennifer Ehle did wonderful as his match, Elizabeth Bennett.

The movie does last five hours, but it brings to life the book. If you aren't into Pride & Prejudice and want to shortcut watch this movie. I quite enjoyed the version with Keira Knightly, but this one will always remain the closest and first movie that fully and wonderfully matched the book.

So what movie do you think did the book justice?

Speaking of movie magic... don't forget the music! This is one of my favorite musical pieces of all time:

Jurassic Park Theme Song
by: John Williams

Much Love,
Kelli

A Stellar Weekend

2011-07-24T21:13:00.001-05:00

I must say that a few months ago I was praying for today. I prayed of a time when I could splurge on myself, have dinner with friends, have an eventful weekend, and at the end smile because it was all good. I don't write this because I was to throw it in some one's face, but I want to tell those who are struggling that there is hope out there. That dream you keep seeing, the vision that helps you go on when it isn't at all as you pictured, you will have that day.

Such a blessing this weekend was.

We went to dinner at RJ Gators on Friday night, and since I arrived early I was able to shop at the mall. This proved to be fatal to my wallet. I found not one, but two beautiful purses. I called my mom to ask what I should do. Her advice was to splurge on myself and enjoy some of my hard earned cash. I had dreamed about it for months, why not take the time to do so. Well, if Mom says it's okay who am I to argue?

On Saturday I started the day off early, but to spend time with Shas, helping her get ready for her baby shower? That I'm willing to do any time. Besides spending time with your best friend is never a chore. As soon as I know how big Baylor will be when Halloween rolls around this is the outfit he is getting. Shas loves Elvis and it is too cute to pass up.

Plus I got to spend the afternoon with my second family, Shas' mom and sister at the shower. Afterward my mom and I went to the book store where I picked up this gem I've been waiting for:

Erik Larson's In the Garden of Beasts. If you haven't read Erik Larson before, might I suggest, RUN and get any book of his. My introduction to this fabulous author was his book, Devil in the White City, about the 1893 World's Fair in Chicago and America's first serial killer, H.H. Holmes. All non-fiction, but reads like a fantastic fiction book. If you want an even easier read try his Isaac's Storm, about the hurricane that leveled Galveston in 1901. It is told from Isaac Hayes, the meteorologist of Galveston and the hurricane itself. With fabulous stories and a great read you can not go wrong reading anything Erik Larson writes!

Then today I got to visit with my favorite missionary family, The Johnson's, who were in town for the summer. If you'll remember I stayed with them when I lived in Mexico. It was so good to see everyone and I even got to visit with D's mother, whom I enjoy so immensely. Afterward I talked my dad into seeing:

Captain America. Wonderful movie. It had humor, romance, no curse words, and a very handsome Chris Evans. Plus Tommy Lee Jones was hilarious, my admiration for all things Stanley Tucci still stands, and it was really a fun ride. I encourage anyone to see it. Of course now I feel the need to see Thor...

Finally, I ended the day with some swimming, Jerseylicious, and Law & Order: Criminal Intent. Truly a blessed day. I hope and pray this kind of weekend for all of you. I just feel so blessed, and it feels so surreal. I also feel slightly paranoid that it might not last, but I'm very, very grateful!

So Far Away
by Staind

Much Love,
Kelli!

Packing Reunion Style

2011-07-18T19:56:00.000-05:00

Going to family reunions always seems to be a mixed bag of blessings for me. The blessing, of course, is to see family I don’t get to see but once a year, and a chance to visit and spend time with others that I don’t know as well. On the other hand it means hot weather, motel rooms, driving, and having limited options. The only thing I would really complain about is the weather. It has simply been atrocious both here in Texas, and even worse in Oklahoma. However, after doing this for a while I have packing down pat. Of course I always learn something new each trip, but here are the basics that never go away:

Make a List! – It doesn’t really matter how you do this one. I usually write mine down, but if you like it on the computer then go for it.

a. Start with what you use every day. I start writing down what I use from the moment I get up. Example: I’d write pillow (I only bring my pillow if I’m driving, otherwise, it takes up too much room if I fly.). Then I’d write PJs, rubber band, bobby pin (I hate having bangs at night), etc. Once I’ve written everything down. Then I would put it into categories. Feel free to not be that organized, but I do it because then I don’t have a cluttered list. I’m both lazy and anal retentive that way.

b. Once I have the everyday needs written down, then I decide my wardrobe. On a side note for your underwear I always suggest adding two extra just in case. Because you just never know. Even if you are regular, on birth control pills, etc. there is something about vacation that can make your body do weird things, so just throw in a couple of products for the just in case time.

c. PS: This should include electronics and chargers. DON’T FORGET THE CHARGER!
Be a Walking Pharmacy – You will always be the hero if you keep the following things: aspirin, band-aids, Imodium AD, Pepto, Charcoal pills (these are the best if you are going to a foreign country or have a sensitive stomach), and Benadryl (or your favorite allergy / sinus medication).
Bring Entertainment – I hardly ever have a chance to actually watch a movie, read a book, or skim through a magazine at my family reunions, but having them there helps ease any thoughts of boredom. Magazines and movies are great for the younger people around you, who might not enjoy sitting for long periods of time listening to current ailments of older family members.
Ziploc Bags – I picked this tip up when I was a junior in high school on a bus to Disneyworld. Believe it or not things spill, bags don’t open correctly, and still some people don’t know how to close a bag properly. Ziploc bags fix all of this. I always bring a couple in the gallon size, and maybe some in the snack size. You’ll thank yourself repeatedly for having this. Repeatedly. And you can also thank me.
Finally don’t forget to get some cash. I usually do $20 per person in my party, it doesn’t matter if they’re a kid or an adult who is just riding with me. It usually ensures I have a enough, but cash is a judgment call.

American Boy
by: Estelle ft. Kanye West

* Lyrics Warning

Much Love,
Kelli

Inspiration Board

2011-07-09T20:27:00.000-05:00

I don't know about you, but I've been inspired lately. I've been working on stories and after viewing some of Bethany Joy Galeotti's blog I felt I needed to make my own inspiration board. I encourage you to make one as well. Mine has some short term and long term desires in it. You can view it here:

And so to keep in theme with this blog I felt the need to play this song as it always inspires me.

Go the Distance
by Michael Bolton

Laugh if you will, but to me it is awesome!

Plans

2011-07-07T07:56:00.000-05:00

Hello all!

I've been working on several things, but nothing really to show today. I hate to sound like a broken record, but two jobs are kicking my butt. I'm enjoying my opportunities, make no mistake, but sometimes when I get home I look at the computer and then run away.

Meanwhile I've been trying to curb my road rage, or more to the point, my frustration with drivers that go slow during rush hour. Rush is in the title for a reason. I have a second job to get to and those drivers going slow does not help.

And then I heard this song, and I thought... my goodness my life is like a country song. So there you go.

I'm in a Hurry
by: Alabama

Much Love,
Kelli

Happy 4th!

2011-07-04T08:24:00.000-05:00

My deepest gratitude to those who have allowed me the freedoms I so enjoy. And to my Savior, who has given the greatest freedom.

Much Love,
Kelli

Battle Hymn of the Republic

Don't Want to Move

2011-06-21T20:07:00.000-05:00

Today was not a good day to be Kelli. It wasn't the worst day to be me, but it certainly wasn't the best. On top of everything that happened today I lost a follower. It hurts.

I also believe that for whatever reason people are having a hard time posting on here. I know this because I had several tell me they tried to post and it wouldn't let them. :( If that is you, you can email me at restoredsunshine at gmail dot com.

I'm tired, these two jobs are kicking my butt, but I'm happy, just tired. I feel the need to not do anything. So before I give this post up I wanted to post the new song I'm into is:

The Feel Good Drag
by: Anberlin

Much Love,
Kelli

An Original Story

2011-06-17T10:00:00.000-05:00

So I've had this story in my mind for several months now, so I thought I would write it here for you.
** This story is an original of Kelli Wait, no copying or use of this story is allowed without express permission by me.

A Prevailing Theory

I had only been working here for nine months when it happened. I didn't know the whole story, but I knew that she had left him. There were many theories, but no one had the real scoop. The prevailing theory was that she had an affair and left him, but I don't know that I believe that one. Something certainly happened though.

Everyone tells me I should have been here a few months before, so I could understand how much better it was, but I have no complaints. My boss is great, and while he might have moods, he's never yelled at me, and he certainly has respect for everyone who works under him. After my long career history I have nothing to complain about.

I just wish he weren't so sad. I've seen just a couple of pictures of her, and she is beautiful. I always wondered if she is as sad as he is. Today I found out. I knew something was causing a stir, but all I saw was a woman walking confidently toward me. She had on a black skirt, a bright pink blouse, black trench coat, and a black and white Kate Spade bag. I didn't know all the clients by face, and while she looked familiar it took me a moment to place her. By then she was looking at me with an expression that might have been a smile, but wasn't, but still a pleasant expression.

"Is he with a customer?" Her voice was soft, but still commanded attention.

"No." I said mimicking her tone and unsure of what else to say.

"I'll be a few minutes." and then she left.

I went to pick up the phone and tell him that she was here, but I hesitated and it was too late.

"Hi." she said. I couldn't see into the office, but I could certainly imagine the scene. I saw her looking up from under her lashes as she said it and he would look up at her unsure if he was seeing right...

"What are you doing here?" there was anger in his voice, but it wasn't the only emotion.

"I need to discuss something with you." Again her voice was calm and smooth, and I could only imagine the tension between the two of them.

"I thought we were through talking three months ago." Sarcasm raced through the sentence and I knew he was still sitting down, neither party had really moved yet.

I heard a small rustling and knew she had taken a step, "If that were true you wouldn't have left that way."

I didn't know what that meant, but the silence that followed indicated it was a charge against him.

When he spoke there was still venom in his tone, "I had thought you would have wanted it that way."

I wanted to see in, but I imagine that once again the barb didn't disturb her, and when she spoke it was much softer and harder to hear, "Is that what you think now? That I'm just a one night stand?"
I felt that sting and her hurt. I heard him stand up and I feared for a moment he would see I was still listening in, but he moved from his desk. "I've never thought that." he reassured her and as he did so I could tell the fight had left him, "But what are you doing here?" his imploring had me on the edge.

"I'm coming home. I realize I've made some big mistakes, and we need to work through them, and I needed to be home for that." Her voice was still soft, stronger this time, and I wondered if she had her head up looking into his eyes waiting for his answer.

"Why now?" He asked her, his voice somewhat neutral.

"I was always planning on coming home at the end of the year, but something has happened that forced me to speed it up." She hesitated and once again I could imagine her looking at him, gauging his reaction, and deciding to push through.

There was another rustling and I didn't know what it was but I heard a small gasp. And with brief certainty I knew she was pregnant. It all started to click into place for me, but I was still glued to the phone as I listened intently for any sign of anything.

I was prepared for any question, but the one he asked with awe still in his voice was, "Why...Why?"

I didn't see her shake her head, but that is what I envisioned, "I-I wanted to tell you, but after everything..." she paused for a moment, "I didn't even realize it until I was nearly eight weeks along, and then I was just holding my breath.."

Something struck me then, that perhaps their story had nothing to do with other people as much as the loss of something else. My heart went out to them at that moment, and while I still felt like an intruder I couldn't stop. I wanted to hear, my heart wanted to hear the completion that it felt must happen.

"Would you have told me if..." he too trailed off

"Of course, I just.. with everything up in the air I panicked for a couple of weeks. Then I got my stuff together and set up everything to come home. I didn't want to tell you over the phone."

"When did you get back to town?"

"Yesterday. I'm staying with my parents at the moment."

"Do they know?" Somehow he seemed like he would be hurt if the answer was yes.

"Not because I told them. You know how my mother is."

There was a small chuckle, "I do."

There was silence for a few minutes and I felt then was a good time to quit listening. It wasn't because I didn't want more details, but I knew I would find out soon enough. Based on the months I had been here I had a good feeling of which path the couple would choose.

The End.

I hope you enjoyed it!

I Told You So
by Carrie Underwood & Randy Travis

Much Love,
Kelli

Oh, I'm 30?

2011-06-16T07:54:00.000-05:00

My beloved computer, Fred, hasn't been available to me for a couple of days. He has been having FrontPage loaded on to him for my benefit. I cut my web design teeth on FrontPage, so I like to have it for basic needs. I also got to see Pirates 4 on Tuesday night with the family. A great week, but it doesn't allow for much posting. Oh well. Onward and upward I say.

My birthday was Sunday, June 12th. (Go Mavs!) I don't know that I'm prepared for thirty, but as I'm told (and certainly believe) it is better than the alternative. Having said that though I thought I would share with you what I've learned in these thirty years. Feel free to leave a comment on what you have learned.

What I know:

1. Honor your father and mother. To me, there is nothing worse than when you realize you've disrespected one of them.

2. ALWAYS put moisturizer on after you wash your face.

3. When you play Tetris (no matter how short the time) you will start dreaming about it.

4. Going to a late movie in the middle of the week is cathartic and good for the soul! -- See above Pirates comment!

5. There is a profound difference between the north and south and men and women.

6. If you put foundation on your eyelids and do your eyes first it makes for better make up application.

7. Spend time with your family and friends whenever you get the chance. I like to have time to myself, but you can't replace people, and a great memory is always to be found!

8. A good dessert is always worth it.

9. There is nothing like the love of a dog. Even when they're old, cranky, and think they own 3/4 of the bed.

10. The most important relationship you will ever have is with Christ Jesus.

We'll see what I learn in the next thirty.

And I refuse to play that Tim McGraw song. REFUSE!
So I thought I would play the song that I remember as my first favorite song. I was three years old, but I so did love this song:

Jump
by Van Halen

Much Love,
Kelli

How to Protect Yourself Online

2011-06-13T20:47:00.000-05:00

First I want to say congratulations to cbeene31. You won, and I personally know how beautiful you are, but I certainly hope you are blessed by the book!

On to the how to: I gave a brief discussion of this the other day, and thought I would share it with you, as well as have it as a reference for those ladies:

1. Your Money

I know debit cards are convenient, but they don't protect you. Anyone who has had a fraudulent charge on their debit know, you have to cancel the full card and then wait to get a new one. Even then you can't fight many of the charges.

Which is why I recommend shopping with a credit card, or if the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University graduate and just can't do that, then a pre-paid debit card for online purchases only.

However, I always recommend credit cards because they protect you, more than any other form of paying.

Side Note: Even if you use the 'credit' option when out, it still pulls the funds from your debit card, this will not protection you.

1a. Banks

This always seems to bare repeating: DO NOT CLICK ON ANY LINK IN YOUR EMAIL! No bank, no credit card processor, will EVER have you log into an account from email EVER. If you get an email from one of those institutions you can go to your Internet browser, type in the URL (web address), and go in that way. If you are still unsure call your bank.

2. Social Media

Facebook- put steps in for privacy. If your phone number is not required don't give it. If you lose your phone report it within in 24 hours (if not sooner - when you know for sure it has been stolen).

Don't tell people you are going on vacation. Do so after. Twitter offers a little more anonymity than Facebook, but you still need to be careful.

3. The Small, but Necessary Rules

a. make sure you have protection (anti-virus) on your computer such as AVG or Search & Destroy or SUPERAnti-Spyware

b. Make sure you run computer updates.

c. Check your bank statement weekly.

d. Before you put in your card info make sure there is a lock on the address bar.

e. If you live off of your phone protect it the same way you protect your social security number.

If there are any questions please let me know!

Somebody's Watching Me
by: Rockwell

Much Love,
Kelli

A Pretty Giveaway

2011-06-02T07:53:00.000-05:00

I always want to feel pretty. Without question. You can use the adjectives here: beautiful, gorgeous, out of this world, whatever word that you ascribe to being pretty is the word I want to be. Daily. The problem comes because all too often I don't feel that way. Far from it. Yet, an involuntary impulse within me makes me want to be pretty every day, and therefore makes it impossible to leave the emotion behind.

So when I gave the challenge on Tuesday to tell yourself every day that you are pretty, I had already been doing so for over two weeks. And this firsthand account is what I have found:

To be honest I would forget to tell myself I was beautiful in the mornings. I was rushing to get ready, but when I was at work or I had a moment to actually look at my reflection, whether I felt it or not, I would tell myself out loud (not too loud for others to hear - I said pretty, not creepy) I was beautiful. I didn't always believe in that moment, but later on I would catch a glimpse of myself and I couldn't help but see something good reflecting back.

The more I told myself this one thing the more effort I put into my hair, make up, and clothes, and I already put quite the effort. However, there was an element to it that hadn't been there in a while: fun. I had fun picking out my outfits, decided what color to put on my eyelids, and how I should wear my hair.

It has put such a wonderful spin on my thoughts toward myself in the past few weeks that I believe I will keep going. I recommend it to everyone, especially you, the one who thinks that by doing so you will gain nothing. Why not try it? Why not, for a few days, or weeks try doing something that requires nothing more than telling yourself, what others already see. And yes, they do see your beauty, far more than you do.

And now for the giveaway. The subject of beauty is so deep for women that there is a multi-billion dollar industry that caters to the subject. However, I think the attack on women, and the subject of beauty goes far deeper than simple appearance. One of the best books I've ever read on the subject and one that touched me so deeply on it was the book, Captivating, by Stasi and John Eldredge. So profound on the subject that if you have not read it I want to give you the opportunity to read it now.

I'm giving away one copy of this book to my readers, you may give it away to any female you know who needs to read a book that was written specifically for them in mind. I'll keep it open until next Thursday, June 9th. To enter just comment on what makes you feel beautiful.*

* No out of US entries (Sorry!) and this contest is entirely supported by me, and in no way related to anyone else.

Stay Beautiful
by Taylor Swift

Much Love,
Kelli

Covers & Time

2011-06-01T07:50:00.000-05:00

Good morning everyone!

So today's media choice is a video of epic proportions. I've been a subscriber to gaby0189 for a few years now, and she is a phenomenal vidder.

This video below combines three things I absolutely adore: cover song, Sons of Anarchy, and One Tree Hill. A cross over video about Jax (SoA) and Haley (OTH). So good even Bethany Joy Galeotti tweeted about it herself. The song is such a fantastic cover of Duran Duran's. This video is less than three minutes and worth every second.

Come Undone
by: My Darkest Days

Much Love,
Kelli

Being Pretty

2011-05-31T07:51:00.000-05:00

Before bathing suit season fully commences, and women's self esteem plummets because of the dread swimming attire I thought I would address the being pretty attitude.

If you feel ugly or fat there is nothing I can type here that will change your opinion. However, there is One who can: Jesus. I want you to understand that God will always require our cooperation when He is doing something in our lives. So, please, never think that if you pray for Jesus to make you thin you are suddenly going to be thin.

Quick Tangent: Being thin does not automatically make you beautiful.

Did you know God created you? When you hate the way you look or hate on yourself you are hating on a creation God made. Now this is nothing against plastic surgery, at all, but I find it sad when a seven year old girl needs surgery on her ears because the bullying is out of hand. I get how important looks are in this world, but if you are doing surgery to change your life, then I think you need to re-look at why you are doing it.

No matter what state your body is in I fully believe (and see) where telling it that it is beautiful is beneficial. You may feel like the fattest blob this side of the century, but if you wake up every day, and tell yourself you're beautiful, you will start to believe it. What's even better you will start to act it. What you believe about yourself is what determines your choice. Remember you are the daughter of the King! He created you and He thinks you're beautiful! SO BELIEVE IT!

You Are So Beautiful
by Joe Cocker

Much Love,
Kelli

Happy Memorial Day

2011-05-30T07:35:00.000-05:00

As my pastor said yesterday this day is not about hamburgers and cookout (although it is a nice way to spend time with family), it is about remembering those who sacrificed and gave their lives for this incredible country. I do not think there are enough words to express the gratitude to those individuals who have both served and sacrificed. Thank you all.

Much Love,
Kelli

The Warrior Song
by the Warrior Project

Perfectionism & Letting Go

2011-05-26T10:00:00.001-05:00

I don't know if there is a more frustrating person out there than the perfectionist. The reason I say that is not only do I know a few, but I am one. The perfectionist demands perfection from themselves and usually those around them, the problem is not just that people let them down, but worse, they let themselves down. And so the vicious cycle continues.

I have learned that I do myself no favors by being this way. The only perfect thing in this world is Jesus, NOT ME. Although sometimes I fancy myself I am I know for a fact I'm not. BEING PERFECT IS NEVER REQUIRED, not even by God. Especially by God. Making a mistake is not the end of the world (unless you're in charge of the nuclear war codes, then please double check.)

Do you want to know the best part of making a mistake? And yes there is one. You learn compassion - for yourself and others. When you are able to let mistakes go you feel your whole body relax. Now, I will be full out honest and tell you my default settings are set to maximum freak out. Not freaking out for me is a learned behavior . One I still learn.

My first lesson in this is to keep my panic to myself. If you freak out, everyone else freaks out too. My next step is to take a deep breath and gather my thoughts. (The little suckers like to run rampant and I can't catch one long enough to make a good decision.)

If it is something I have to make a quick decision on I pray and then I go to the closest trusted person (or call them if necessary). I explain the situation, and sometimes venting or using someone else will give me perspective, and allow me to make a more clear headed decision.

If it doesn't require immediate decision I take a walk. I pray when I do this because God is not only an excellent sounding board, but with prayer God will often direct me. Giving yourself space and time can never be underestimated.

What I'm also learning is that the more I let go the easier it is. When you treat people right and are honest most people are willing to give you a break (especially if you can fix the issue quickly). Of course you will always run into those jerks who won't, but really you have to let that go (I'm really talking to myself here too!).

For those of you like me it can be tough, but you will be so much better off if you can let it go.

Snow (Hey Oh)
by: Red Hot Chili Peppers

Much Love,
Kelli

The Storms

2011-05-25T07:58:00.000-05:00

Not much of a post today, had several tornadoes surrounding me last night, but PRAISE BE TO GOD, He kept me and my family safe. For those who are hurting and those who are blessed I have a song I listen to regardless of the situation.

Restored
by J. Moss

Much Love,
Kelli

Going Through Hell

2011-05-24T10:00:00.001-05:00

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5 (NIV)

"If you're going through hell, keep on going." - Winston Churchill

This can at many times, be the hardest thing. Especially when the tough time has been going on for a long time.

And when you are in the middle of it your thoughts usually go to: I WANT TO QUIT THIS! You are not alone in this thought process. However, please don't quit.

I know you've been praying and it seems God doesn't hear you, but He does! He really does. When you're at your wits end, and you don't know what to do - Go to bed. Or watch a movie, read a book, read your Bible, go for a walk, whatever it is, but some activity to get your mind off your current situation. God gives you all the grace you need, and as Pastor Paul says, if you don't think you can go on, go to bed, you'll get new grace tomorrow.

Often the hardest thing to hear from God is nothing. But please don't take that to mean God is nothing. But please don't take that to mean God is not moving or working on your behalf. Always pray before you make a move, because you do not want to do anything unless God is prompting you. I'll do a whole devotional on how to know when God is moving in your life, but for the time have others pray with you.

I know this can be difficult, I've been there many times myself, but it will pass. Until then I'll give you my secret weapon: Motown

Higher & Higher
by Jackie Wilson

Much Love,
Kelli

How To: SEO Part II

2011-05-23T10:00:00.002-05:00

SEO Content:

Content is what you say, and more importantly, how you say it. Not only does what you what you write need to be keyword rich, but it needs to make sense, and be concise.

Side Note: For the love of Pete, do NOT put keywords in a jumble then make it white. Google is on to you and will ping you for this.

Think about you as a reader and what you'll invest in reading, or more precise the person who hates reading, and that is who you should keep in mind as your audience. Content, and how you say it really does matter.

If you are a bad writer, pay someone. Most people leave within thirty seconds of arriving at your site. You can help keep them there by having something interesting to say. Make sure your content is both what they are looking for and engaging. You'll retain your viewers, and hopefully have them click on something besides the back button.

A great site to look at this is CommXTech.

Any questions please ask.

Much Love,
Kelli

Friday Fun

2011-05-20T10:00:00.001-05:00

I hope you all have had a fabulous week. On Sunday I got to see Bridesmaid, it was hilarious! It is raunchy, but ridiculously funny. More than anything I'm just really tired. Even my mother commented about how I don't talk much anymore and considering how much I usually talk that is a big deal!

Anyway, here are my weekly finds:

Recipe to Try: Salted Chocolate Covered Fluffer Nutter Wafers

Favorite Tweeter of the Week: Gary Sinise (I love this guy!)

Favorite Video/Song of the Week:
I'm not a huge Haley/Damon fan. Give me Haley/Dean or Haley/Jax, but the video by gaby0189 is amazing and the song is phenomenal.

Salted Skin

by Ellie Goulding

Favorite Day This Week: Sunday. I went to church, the weather was perfect, I went and saw Bridesmaids with Shas and had a fabulous time, and then I went to the church picnic. I also saw the new Law & Order: Criminal Intent. It was just a picture perfect, beautiful day!

What was your favorite day?

Much Love,
Kelli

Irony & the Rolling Stones

2011-05-19T10:00:00.000-05:00

Ironically I just told this story to one of my new co-workers, so I will try to tell you just as effectively and quickly for this Thursday Life Application. You might not know, so I'm going to tell you that I do not have a favorite band, I do however, have a Permanent Top 3. These do not change and effectively are in the slot for #1 at any given moment. Those bands are: The Rolling Stones, The Who, and the Foo Fighters. I tell you this because one of those band's infamous song is the reason for this post. And why I think irony likes me:

A few years ago life was not as idyllic as I might have liked. I was splitting from my best friend at the time, and I was unsure as to why. (I would later find out, but that is neither here nor there.) So, in misery because I was losing a friend, and unsure of anything I poured my heart out to God, in the bathroom, listing out what exactly I wanted. As soon as I was done I turned the radio on and through the speakers came the old familiar tune, "You can't always get what you want. You can't always get what you want. You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you'll find, you get what you need."

I was not amused.

In fact I felt slightly insulted by the song, and did not think it was funny at all. Fast forward a few days later and my mom and I were in the car. I was once again lamenting to her about the best friend drama and told her of my story. Right after I finished telling her again that tune came on. "You can't always get what you want. You can't always get what you want. You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you'll find, you get what you need."

My mother laughed.

I did not.

However, as time has gone on from this moment I can tell you the words sung by the ever cool Mick Jagger, are true. You can't always get what you want, but God will always make sure that you get what you need. Now sometimes it may seem that He is being slow on it, but He will come through his time.

And as someone who has just come through a storm, I can tell you that sometimes, God will give you what you want. (If it is within his will and pleasure to do so.)

You Can't Always Get What You Want
by the Rolling Stones

Much Love,
Kelli

Media Fun

2011-05-18T10:00:00.000-05:00

For Media Wednesday I have two fun videos.

The first is how we got Cntrl+Alt+Delete. You can read the whole thing here. But I highly suggest you watch the fun video below (Bill Gates doesn't it find it funny, but everyone else does.)

This video I thought was beautiful. I love this song. Reminds me of Hawaii and Batman Forever (the one with Val Kilmer). Oh yes.

Kiss From A Rose
by: Seal

Much Love,
Kelli

Devotional: Humor

2011-05-17T10:00:00.000-05:00

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouting. Job 8:21 (NIV)

Is there anything better than a good laugh? One that makes your sides hurt and tears run down your eyes? For whatever reason, I've noticed, many of us forget to laugh with God. As my pastor once said (most conveniently after I had prayed and asked God if He had a sense of humor - I was in the 8th grade) "If you don't think God has a sense of humor, look in the mirror."

Jesus came to give us an abundant life and humor is very much a part of that. I know that with financial difficulties, bad health, bad drivers - especially, it can be hard to remember the humor of things. But I want to encourage you to laugh. For today's devotional, while unconventional (hey that's me!) I have listed some of the funniest movies I can think of.

Young Frankenstein - not suitable for young kids, but mostly innuendo that goes over their heads.
Princess Bride - inconceivable, I know!
Move Over, Darling - "What idiot would do that?" "You did sir." "Oh, strike that last statement from the record."
Tangled or Cars - either is hilarious and perfect for any age
The Money Pitt - Cause you can easily see how you could be there

Cupcakes & Ponies
Steve Byrne

* one small word problem, still funny.

Much Love,
Kelli

How To: Quick SEO Breakdown Part I

2011-05-16T10:00:00.001-05:00

This post is for those of you not familiar with how websites work or how does Google display your site.

What is SEO?

SEO stands for Search Engine Optimization. So what does that mean? When you type into Google, 'green necklace' a list of websites come up, all selling green necklaces. (Hopefully)

How man websites do you click through to find a green necklace? Most people, the first five. If you are in search of something specific, the first page.

Now think how many jewelry and costume jewelry stores there are. More than ten right? So how do those stores make sure they are on the first page and in the top spots? SEO.

Keywords

What you enter in Google to search on is a keyword. Believe it or not all SEO revolves around keywords, the right keywords.

There are many approaches to this, but the one I've found works best is knowing what you want to be most known for. Cookie recipes? Green Necklaces? Light bulb dog collars? Whatever it is when people say or see that keyword it should be synonymous with you. Once that one keyword is established pick four other keyword runner ups (hey, they did their best) and you've established a goal.

There will be more next week, but I'll let you digest this, or dismiss it if you already know it.

Bang
by Armchair Cynics

Much Love,
Kelli

Life Application: Confessing

2011-05-14T08:35:00.000-05:00

Want to know something? This is a lesson God has personally given me. I first heard it weeks ago in an Andy Stanley message, and the minute I heard it... conviction.

(Side Note: Before I go further this is lesson I learned is not for everyone. I can tell you that when you grow in Christ every time you've completed a lesson, so to speak, a new one will come along. After all we are never going to be perfect this side of heaven, so know you'll always be learning. However, each of us have different lessons and different combinations, so this might not come to you, but it certainly came to me.)

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:15 (NIV)

I'll admit to you now I have one area in my life where I really struggle. The basics of what God is teaching me is that the sin strong hold I am under needs to be treated like an addiction, because in a way it is.

The first step for me was confessing I had a sin strong hold. (It isn't something that hurts anyone else, and physically it doesn't hurt me, but it does hurt me spiritually.) And then prayer. I've prayed about it often, and although it is better it is not gone.

Hence we have the second step: Confession. My first confession is it is a secret sin. One I've never told anyone. All because I am embarrassed to do so. However, because I've heard this lesson over three times now, I know I need to do so. I'm in prayer as to who to tell. My mother is probably my best choice, but... well you see my dilemma.

So I'm not sure how much of a life application this is since I haven't done it yet, but I want you know to know that if you are struggling with something God has asked you to do, you are not alone.

Secrets
by One Republic

(PS: Today was SO MUCH BETTER than yesterday! I had a wonderful day!!)

Much Love,
Kelli

Fun Friday Finds

2011-05-14T08:28:00.001-05:00

Well when blogger went down it screwed up my posts, so I'm trying to catch up. Not to mention it has been a little weird this week trying to get everything together since I've started a new job, but I'll get a rhythm down eventually. In the mean time this is what I've found:

New Recipe to Try: Summertime Strawberry Lemonade Scones by Sugar Plum (Emily)

Favorite Twitter User: American Hypocrite

Favorite Day of the Week: Thursday & Friday. I finally got some confidence in what I was doing. Obviously I'm still learning, but I felt much better about the new job. Even though I miss doing my own thing all day, I'll be back to being a full time self employer soon enough.

Favorite Video or Song:

Ride My See Saw
by the Moody Blues

Such a great song. :D

Have a great weekend everyone!!!

Much Love,
Kelli

Devotional: Dealing with Fear

2011-05-10T19:39:00.000-05:00

"I sought the Lord and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears." (Psalm 34:4 NIV)

I don't think there is any other emotion that we have that can strike us to move faster or stand completely still. The above verse is my favorite, because when fear strikes, and it strikes more often for me than I care to admit, I say this verse. I have also, received more peace, and I'll gladly admit that, when I say this verse.

Today I started my new job. My trainer left for the afternoon and I had only been with her for less than two hours! So, that left me answer the phones... massive, and well deserved panic.

Then I did what I always do when I'm in an unfamiliar place tasked with unfamiliar functions... I ran to the bathroom... okay maybe not (but I never underestimate the power of a well placed bathroom break) I prayed the above.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

With Jesus we are not fear or be anxious about anything, and as someone who gets anxious about most things I fully understand how hard this command can be. So for you, who like me, suffer from this ailment, and would like to stop I suggest the following:

PRAY - do this first.
(Remember to breathe while you are doing so.)
PRAY - do this second.
(Remember: Greater is He who is in ME than he who is in the world.)
PRAY - do this third.
(Remember: God did not give us a spirit of fear.)

So, how did it go for me. One of the worst days. It was so surreal and I have a ridiculous headache, but I'm okay. I will figure this out and for only having less than two hours of training and having absolutely no clue about any of it, I think I did well.

Voice of Truth
by Casting Crowns

(Because it bares repeating.)

Much Love,
Kelli

How To: 5 for Branding

2011-05-09T19:01:00.000-05:00

Quick Note: If you don't want to read the last post, What Did Joseph Think, I understand, the sum up is that I have a new job! However, I'm not giving up on my current business, so if you have a calculator or know how to count on fingers and toes, that is two jobs. I might have to modify my schedule on here, but there will be one.

1. What is your purpose in branding?

Why are you starting a blog, why are you starting a business, or side project? There has to be reason to do it, and passion to sustain you. To be fair when I started this blog I had lots of time, through a series of life changes I have slowly lost that time. However, learn from my failings and do better, but please have purpose.

2. Create a Name

If you want your name to be your brand, then congratulations you are already done. However, if it is a blog or business then you need to come up with a unique name.

3. Grab all the Web Real Estate You Can

Once you've determined your name, now you need to see if that name is available. You can look up on google, or on a WhoIs Look Up, which will tell you if the name is available. DO NOT look up on GoDaddy or Network Solutions. Once they know someone is interested they can jump the price up.

From there I suggest going after social media. You'll want your name on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Linked In, Blogger, etc. Whatever can have your name you want to grab it on the social media's while you can.

4. Invest in a good social media control panel.

I know Twitter bought TweetDeck, but I still recommend it. Except for your blog posts it is one application for all your social media. However if you are not going to keep up with your social media don't do it. People are let down by dates that are more than two weeks old. If they see inconsistency it worries them and their trust in you is shaky.

5. Have Fun.

The whole purpose of this is to grow yourself or business, and you need to enjoy it. If you hate it, then why bother? Sure it can get a little straining at times, but that's to be expected. So have fun and enjoy.

One Track Mind, One Track Heart
by: Marina & the Diamonds

Much Love,
Kelli

What Did Joseph Think?

2011-05-05T13:03:00.000-05:00

Author's Note: This has been written over a two week period.

Quick Point: If you haven't had any struggles in your life, or things have pretty much always gone your way what I'm about to say is not for you. However, if you've done everything you know to do and you're worse off than you've been this is for you.

I have had to pray for encouragement for the past few months and much more intensely for the past few weeks. Financially, personally, spiritually, politically, drivingly (I know not a word, but I was on a role)... Lets just there isn't a realm that hasn't been affected (or is it effected? I get this wrong nearly every time, I'm sorry!! - I don't like be grammatically incorrect, but I'm really bad at it.).

The worst has been my finances. I do everything I know to do: I tithe, I pray, I study the Word, and still it is in such a dire state that the actual thought of it could bring me to tears... so I gloss over it. A week or so I was to the point of no longer being sad or upset, but downright furious. Everything irritated me. In fact one night I went to Keni's house and told her that I was at the end of my rope, and all I wanted to do was swear. I wanted to use the f-word like no one's business because it represented my frustration and anger over a situation I can't seem to have any control over.

I refrained for her. I did not refrain for my mother when she asked what was wrong. After my spilling of all that was going on, of all the failures (and my seeming anti-Midas touch where everything I touch seems to go to crap), I said I was mad at the world. Then she asked me if I was mad at the world or at God?

The truth is I was mad at God. I didn't want to be. I don't want to be a petulant child unable to have the "faith" to go through this without complaint. However, I couldn't lie to myself or to God and I was angry. Deeply angry. It isn't like this problem just suddenly manifested itself and has only been going on a few weeks, months, or days. No, it has been going on for YEARS. And it seems no matter what I do it doesn't get better. I have faith God can do anything, but it has seemed, especially the last two years, that He has some how forgotten me.

I know that's not true, but in the hardest moments, especially the last few weeks when it all was so unrelenting that is how it felt. Last week I started making it a daily prayer. And I want to tell you God has delivered. My circumstances are just as depressing as they ever were, but He has given me the peace and encouragement I needed.

Last week I found out I didn't get a job I had interviewed for. While slightly upsetting I mourned the money more than the job itself. However, it didn't upset me nearly as much as it could. At the exact moment I got the call I was reading the wonderful news that Shas was having a boy! Plus with all the people praying for me if I didn't get the job it was because God didn't want me to have it.

At the same time I was able to put a two month deferment on my student loans, which although I know all about the problems with that, it is a blessing for me. So, even though I only made $3 (all gifts) it was okay. It was really okay. Then I made a radical change, one that I've been trying to implement for some time. As the saying goes, "Money makes a wonderful servant, but a bad master."

I no longer wanted my money to be my master. It certainly is necessary to every day living, but at the same time the way it can cause such stress is, for lack of a better word, stressful. After this epiphany I tithed one of my dollars. There. To be honest it was hard (I now only had $2), but the longer I thought about it the better I felt.

On Monday it was pouring. It was blissfully cool (54 degrees), and rainy. My radio doesn't work most of the time, so I was listening to my MP3 when I started to skip past "King of Glory" by Third Day. Then I thought, no, I'm going to praise God. No matter what, He will see me through this.

Before the chorus began my phone rang. It was the guy I had interviewed with asking me if I was still interested in the job. I most certainly was....

A few days later I want you to know I start on Monday.

I want you to know, if you are in that spot now, if it is hard and you're thinking, that's great for her, but what about me? I do know how you feel, and I do want you to be encouraged that it will get better if you know Jesus.

Thank you for those of you who have been praying for me. They have blessed me and I'm truly grateful.

King of Glory
by Third Day

Much Love,
Kelli

Devotional: Encouragement

2011-05-04T08:08:00.000-05:00

I apologize for not getting yesterday's post out. Exciting day, but it didn't give me much of a chance to be here. Today's devotional isn't really any new in insight, but I think it is something that we don't give or get as much as we should.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I want you to know that if you are going through a rough time that it will get better. I know it might not seem like it, I truly do, but it will get better.

I want you to know that if you are not feeling like you are looking your best that you are beautiful. I realize that you might not look like a supermodel, in fact you are what some would call the dreaded "fat" word, but you are beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

I want you to know that if you are struggling to be a better person, or turn your life around you will. The very fact you care to do so and are taking the time to do it means the most. Keep it up and one day you will be that person that you want to be and Jesus wants you to be.

I love you all!

Voice of Truth
by Casting Crowns

Much Love,
Kelli

How To: Twitter

2011-05-02T13:11:00.000-05:00

When things are constantly changing you are constantly learning. The reason I tell you this is that what I state today may change down the road, but I hope to provide some basic guide lines and knowledge for the social medias listed below.

If you are blogging and building up your brand in blogging then I firmly believe you need to establish your name across all social media forums. However, each one should be handled differently. Today I'm going to focus on Twitter because it is my favorite, because its purpose is to share information and links 140 bite piece at a time. News links, opinions, short thoughts, photo snapshots are best used for Twitter.

Basic Twitter Tools:

Mentions:

A mention is when someone includes you in their post. When someone "mentions" you they will have @yourusername in their tweet.

This is where someone mentioned me:

When this happens the best thing to do (within reason) is respond. Whatever you feel the best response is. When you respond to your mention you do a reply, which then puts the user who mentioned you into your tweet.

Reply:

To reply you can use the reply button which you see above. Replying automatically puts the other user

Here is what it would look like when you are replying:

As you can tell I would be responding to Jerry Bruckheimer. By replying or responding to someone tweets you start to really build up your social network.

The whole point of social media is to be social, so being engaging with people is important.

Retweet:

Sometimes the people you follow are hilarious or have a poignant message and you want to share this. To do this all you have to do is a re-tweet.
Gary Sinise re-tweeted me. Great day! Re-tweet is easy. Sometimes people will even re-tweet you.

Favorite:

When you favorite a tweet it is a way to keep track of those tweet that you really like. It could be because of the message, or the link, or whatever other reason you wish to keep it in a list.

Direct Message:

This is the private message of Twitter. If you wish to send a private message to someone on Twitter you do it by Direct Message.

Basic Twitter Lingo:

Hashtag:

Hastags are anything you put a # in front of. You can put anything after the #, if you want to be trending you can put specific keywords after.

Trending:

Trending is when you and many other twitter users are using a specific phrase or keyword so that you can find or follow information. The two most famous on Twitter are #ff and #musicmonday.
#ff or #FollowFriday

When you put this hashtag in your tweet you will then proceed to put user names into the tweet. This lets those who follow you know the cool people you are following. If you follow certain tweeters who have great content, great tweets, and you really like then on Friday put those people into a tweet.

Example:
#ff @northparknow @GarySinise @michellemalkin @BethanyJoyGaleotti @backdoralora @waitmel

#musicmonday

This one I use a lot because I'm always listening to music.

Example:
"Timshel" by Mumford & Sons and "Brother Louie" by Stories for #musicmonday

Twitter Apps
I use TweetDeck. I can see all the people I follow, my mentions, my DMs, keywords I'm following. There is HootSuite, but I like TweetDeck because you can also add your Facebook, Linked In, and other Social Media all in one place. And if you have several Twitter accounts or Facebook accounts you can keep it all organized there.

If you have any suggestions please comment. I love to learn and do so constantly, but for those of you new to Twitter or thinking about joining I hope this helped.

Much Love,
Kelli

Passion

2011-04-27T13:21:00.001-05:00

I am what most would consider to be a very passionate person. I entrench myself in whatever subject has meaning to me.

Like the Titanic when I was in the fourth grade when my dad had bought me Dr. Robert Ballard's book, and I just couldn't get enough. (I even created a group in my 4th grade class so that we could study it more.)

Or Lucille Ball I have nearly every biography of her and a ridiculous amount of memorabilia.

Or the X-Files. I know the names to all episodes and even years later can tell you more facts than you care to know.

The point is that when I get on a subject I learn all I can, but as is the point of this post, I don't stop there. I share it.

You can ask my dear friend, Shas, (who by the way found out she is having a boy!) who sat through bus rides and high school every Monday morning listening to my re-cap of X-Files. Or any other passionate issue I had. My poor family has gotten the brunt of it...

The reason I feel the need to tell you is that my other favorite subject (after Jesus) is politics. I can't stand by anymore with what is happening and if I'm going to be honest about it I will tell you what I'm doing. I don't expect you to agree with what I say on politics, but I hope whatever position you take that you too will be prompted to move. That is my purpose.

Although I know snippets about such things as One Tree Hill, Glee, and Law & Order: Criminal Intent will probably make an appearance as well. So you've been warned there too.

No worries guys. Most of my posting will be devotionals, but my passion just won't let me remain silent, and so I share. Although if you ask Shas I'm sure she'll tell you I was quite entertaining about my X-Files re-cap.

Much Love,
Kelli

Hard to Say

2011-04-16T08:34:00.000-05:00

This week has probably been the toughest for me in ways that I can't divulge here. They are just too private and while I know blogging is to let that out it doesn't concern just me. Suffice it to say I'm praying for an all out miracle to my situation because the only way any of this is going to be resolved is through God himself.

There is a possible light at the end of the tunnel. I have a job interview on Monday, if I get this job it would certainly be a miracle. Not because I'm not qualified, but because it would be an answer to many of my prayers.

I had to pray before I took the interview however because I have another dream that I've worked so hard on, but doesn't seem to be coming true. However, I didn't want to take what seemed like a great opportunity because I was desperate for money and miss out on a big blessing on the other side.

So I talked to my pastor because I needed an outside view, but was still Christian. He said to go for it, so I'm going for it.

If you read this keep me in your prayers. I hurt and could really use some good news.

Much Love,
Kelli

Life Application: Getting Points While Driving

2011-04-13T12:53:00.001-05:00

Since taking my own challenge I have come up with a series of arbitrary points that I use to keep myself motivated to not tell myself to shove the challenge and pull that jerk out of his car and beat him until some sense has been restored.

Not only am I now paying attention to how drivers treat me (not that it was an issue before), but now I'm paying attention to my own actions.

Thus the creation of the point system:
* There are three things to remember: 1. the point amount can vary based on the situation. If the person is an incredible jerk not retaliating then can be assigned more points. 2. You know your triggers, feel free to make up your own "good for me" points. 3.Take a breather and focus on personal point goals. Even if the jerk cut you off.

Here is how I did last night going to get a pedicure, driving to World Market and Target to get Lora ginger snaps and ginger ale, and coming home.

1. I got a point for not slowing down to a slow crawl for the white mini van that rode my butt.

2. I got a point for only throwing my hands up in the air and not a finger gesture AND

3. I got two points for not honking at the same woman who after several minutes decided to do a u-turn back into the parking lot instead of going right or left.

4. I got three points for again not slowing down to a ridiculously slow crawl to the woman in the SUV who thought that by driving faster and getting on my butt was the way to get me to move faster.

* In residential areas I do not speed. Period. Even well traveled residential areas. More people are walking these days and I'm not about to hit them so you can forget it! Rant: Over

5. I got a point taken away for speeding up to beat another car at a four way stop so the woman behind me had to wait on two cars before going. ** Well worth the point reduction (see: number 4)!

Total points scored: 6 points out of a possible 7 for the evening. I don't know if that is good or not, but for me I thought I did relatively well.

So my question is how are you doing?

Need more zen music? I know I used mine. Here's another great song:

Holiday Review
by Magnolia Sons

It just sounds like a perfect summer day to me.

Much Love,
Kelli

Driving Force

2011-04-11T13:01:00.001-05:00

The more I see

The less I know
The more I like to let it go

Red Hot Chili Peppers "Snow (Hey Oh)"

This came to me on Friday, and suddenly I had to write about it and get it off my chest. It is something that gets to me every time I see it, feel it, hear about it, or read about it. That is Road Rage. This past week a little boy, age four, was shot in the back. It should sicken your stomach when you read such stories. People being killed, wounded, and their families forever altered because of road rage. And yet we still refuse to address the issue at hand. The reason for such acts. Us.

Every single one of us that drives is responsible for our actions, and never has our selfishness escalated in such a way as it does on the road. How many times have you sat in a line of cars to see some jerk travel down the blocked road to get in closer to the front instead of of waiting in line the way everyone else does? It is selfish and terrible. How many of you have done that yourself?

There is a universal principle that we all operate under and that is that each of us is a great driver. The truth is that at any given time we can make a split decision that will effect someone else on the road. I could describe in the last week the things that were done to me that upset me. You have a list too. The only way any of this is going to change is if you and I decide that no matter what we are going to drive the way God wants us to.

So I'm issuing a challenge to you and me. If we want the way people drive to change we have to change. There is no other way around it. You can't ask someone to do something you are not willing to do. I know it may not seem like it will make much of a difference, but that is a lie that laziness and fear love to spew.

Here are things I want to see incorporated, and you can certainly add to the list.

When someone lets you in, wave!
If you see someone trying to get into a lane, let them in.
(If they are trying to get in after going down the lane knowing it is ending I'll let you use your best judgement.)
Don't cut someone off, there are few rare cases when you don't know you've done it. Don't act like you haven't known exactly what you were doing. Slow up or speed down, but don't cut off!
When a driver is obnoxious don't retaliate. To help you achieve that have something that will calm you. Anything short of alcohol or drugs that will make you zen is recommended.
If someone is not going the speed limit, do not ride their butt. Go around them if you can (without waving your thoughts at them), or once again find your zen.
Use your blinker appropriately.
Do not honk at the person who stopped at the light like they are suppose to.
NEVER, EVER stop on railroad tracks. EVER. EVER.

I live and work just a couple of miles from the #15 Worst Traffic Spot in the Nation! I'm not advocating you be stupid or not drive like you know people are stupid, but there are some common courtesies that would help ease the driving experience.

I will give you an honest account for the next week about my progress as I've been guilty of every one of these except the last one. My dad taught me to have a healthy respect for trains.

Unfortunately "love your neighbor as yourself" applies to driving too. So, come take the challenge with me and see what changes for you. Let me know as good or bad I would love to hear the stories. Even if it is to agree with you that the jerk deserved it and you deserve sainthood for dealing with it.

Here is my zen music and inspiration:

Snow (Hey Oh)
by Red Hot Chili Peppers

Much Love,
Kelli

Coming Up... Something?

2011-04-06T13:07:00.000-05:00

I have three devotionals I'm working on, but the more I get into this, the more research I have to do. I'm quite enjoying it actually and wished all those terrible papers I had to write in college were this fun. Except for my Humanities essay in which I used David Bowie/Queen's song "Under Pressure" to describe and explain a particular Greek philosophy. I'm quite proud of that.

Today on Pastor Paul's podcast was a particularly timely sermon for me. Based on Joseph's life with Potifer and more importantly, Potifer's wife it was about doing God's will and living God's standard. The catch was that Joseph did not receive an immediate blessing from doing this, in fact he was sent prison. So, for those of us who are trying to live God's standard and follow His will there might not be an immediate blessing. If you get the chance I highly recommend listening to it here. (It is entitled God Is Still in Control posted on 04/06/11)

I hope it blesses your heart too.

On a more personal issue I tweeted with a virus today. NOT a computer virus, but the measles virus. All because I reported that here in the Metroplex (for those un-familiar it refers to the Dallas/Ft. Worth area) there were two people diagnosed with it. You can catch our conversation on my twitter page.

While we're on the subject of tweeting and blogging I will be changing my profile picture soon, but I need some help deciding what I'm going to choose. I usually leave my picture for months without changing it, so I want to be happy with what I choose. I'll have the three contenders on here soon and if you can help me choose I'd appreciate it.

For fun today I have this great music video. It is from an artist I just heard about, Nick Gardner.

Where I Go
by Nick Gardner

Much Love,
Kelli

Thinking vs. Prayer

2011-04-04T13:26:00.002-05:00

For quite a while I had a hard time with the concept of "positive thinking" versus prayer. The way it was presented to me it was one or the other, and while I understood the concept of positive thinking I know the power of prayer.

However, I have come to find that there really isn't a fight between the two because each of them is different. How to use "positive thinking" with prayer has slowly been solidifying in my mind for months now, but this weekend it was cemented.

On Saturday I attended a women's conference at a local church and the great Thelma Wells was headlining the event. Many of you know her from Women of Faith, and if you haven't had a chance to hear her speak you should. She is called "Mamma T" for a reason. She has book about depression and if you have been going through a tough, rough, or sick and tired of being sick and tired time then I suggest it to you.

Thelma spoke throughout the conference, but the end was what drew my attention the most. It was one of those where you know you are being spoken to and I couldn't help but rejoice with relief as I heard her describe me and what has been going on for the past while.

She suggested something that brings both positive thinking and prayer together in a way that is biblical and freeing. It was exactly what I had been praying about and now God had answered that prayer.

Our mind truly is where the battleground is. Everything starts with a thought. Did you know it takes 55 minutes of positive words to override 5 minutes of negative words? With our minds as the battle ground it is important that we have the tools to fight against that startling reality.

God already gives us the tools,

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Ephesians 6:10-18 (NIV)

Like I've said before though we can certainly be our own worst enemy and all it can take some days is just the wrong word to go in the right ear and suddenly you're spiraling. So Thelma described some positive thoughts or affirmation that she uses and how we can use them to combat the five minutes of negative (that if we believe we will start acting as if true).

Bad Thought >> Positive Affirmation

I'm broke. >> I have all the money I need to do everything I want.

I'm fat. >> I am well and healthy.

I'm weak. >> I know I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.

You can certainly add your own, as you know what negative things you tell yourself, but I encourage you, as Thelma did, to listen to the negative thoughts you say about yourself and come up with a positive thought to counter-act it.

I have found it to be true, and therefore need to put it into practice, that what we think we become. If you are constantly negative and down about everything then life will never be any better because you're continually looking through a negative perspective.

And that is where I finally understand that positive thinking isn't against prayer, but the perspective that you put on your outlook and thoughts to see the truth before you.

And to give you the right send off:

Movin' On Up
by: Third Day

Much Love,
Kelli

What to Say

2011-03-31T12:50:00.001-05:00

Dear Friends,

How are you doing today? I hope you are doing well. As you can see from the last post there has been some excitement going on with me. I have several devotionals started, but unfortunately I haven't finished them yet, so you're stuck with me and my non-thought-out thoughts.

The first is that my car is back from the shop and doing as well as it can. The muffler broke right next to the catalytic converter. I took it to a muffler place and Big Jim welded it back together for me. Then I took it back to Doc McGee and he got my lights to shine at the same brilliance (not where the driver light is way brighter than the passenger light). However, my radio has more shorts in it then just the ground wire, so it still comes on randomly. Praise the Lord my dad had some money to help me out otherwise I don't know what I would have done.

Second I've been in prayer for two people, and although you might not know them if you want to say a prayer for them and their families I know it would be appreciated. Alan, whom I tutored in Mexico, lost his best friend last night. He died in a car crash at the age of 21.

Back when I lived in Mexico as a tutor Alan's aunt and uncle came to live in the house with family until they got to where they would be missionaries. The aunt, Kelly, who is only a year or so older than I am, is in the hospital with something that even the infectious disease doctor doesn't know what it is. She just had her baby four weeks ago.

My heart and prayers go out to the families of both as they struggle through this.

I've been singing this song since about Tuesday, so if you need a pick me up too here it is:

Keep On Tryin'
by Poco

Much Love,
Kelli

Greetings From a Mustang

2011-03-29T12:43:00.000-05:00

Greetings. I've taken over my owner's (Kelli) blog since I have caused her to not be able to post here. I had been telling her for a while something was wrong, but we have a language problem and she had no idea that the noise she was hearing was actually me trying to warn her.

Well, while we were sitting at McDonald's it happened. I broke. She cried. I would try to tell her in English what has happened, but lets face it, she wouldn't really understand that either. I love her, but she isn't what I would call mechanic-smart. Look, we all have our gifts, but her knowledge of cars ain't one.

Yes I did say "ain't" I'm a Texas Mustang. It comes naturally to me... Meanwhile we are going to see Doc McGee, as he seems to know me and Kelli rather well. She just has to say her name and he knows. I'll have you know that the last two times I went for a visit there it turns out it wasn't me at all.

So forgive her while she deals with me, but to be fair I did try to warn her...

Bring Me Sunshine

2011-03-28T13:11:00.001-05:00

Sometimes, even as a Christian, you have days that just bring you down. They are rough, hard to take, and all of your emotional issues seem to come to the forefront. Yes you have abundant life and a joy you can't explain, but there are times when you just don't feel that and with good reason. Sometimes life just flat out sucks.

I've been going through a time period where all of my work, all of my effort, and all of my mental and emotional excursions seem to be for naught. I've talked about an anti-Midas touch, and I have certainly felt that for a couple of weeks now. I've cried out to the Lord in prayer and I have received four friends, two words, one song, and a walk.

The four friends were actually a different times, but each one has been such a wonderful relief to me and a blessing of uplifting love. I really needed their encouragement, and I'm blessed to have them in my life.

The first word I received was from the book of Luke 1:45 (NIV):

Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished.

Then I heard this from Pastor Paul's podcast (Lessons Every Dreamer Must Learn Part 2 Continued) today:

When God is grooming us for greatness He brings us up slowly.

Then of course was this song: I don't think a better video ever came to my attention right when I needed it like this video. It is "Bring Me Sunshine" by the Jive Aces. I'm a sucker for fun time-pieces.

Bring Me Sunshine
by the Jive Aces

I know I sometimes vacillate between the two thoughts "I'm the only one going through this!" and "My problems are so small compared to others why am I complaining?" The truth is neither of these things. I went on a prayer walk with my church last night. We went through the neighborhood walking and praying for each house as we did. We didn't stop in front of each house, but just walked and prayed. I never prayed for myself once during that walk and it was so wonderful to get my mind off my own problems. I encourage you to do it as well.

I wanted to write to you and tell you that even in the midst of a rough time that there are blessings, that there are rewards, and that you will get through this. You aren't alone and no matter what the issue is, if it is truly bothering you then don't worry about how big or small it may be to someone else's problem. Ask the Lord to guide you through the time and keep on praying for others.

Much Love,
Kelli

Saturday Fun Edition

2011-03-26T10:33:00.001-05:00

I apologize for the lack of post yesterday. I'll explain later but until then I want to share with you some of my favorites of the week.

Favorite Tweets of the Week:

From Fred Thompson: 25 yr old FL beauty queen kills intruder w/pink .38 pistol. Guy's probably better off dead than having to tell that story in prison.

That was really the only one...

Favorite Video of the Week:

I'm so excited. I know this makes me a nerdy fan girl, but I don't care. Vincent D'Onofrio as Robert Goren is perfection.

Favorite Product of the Week:

My Phone!!! It is an HTC Inspire. So far we are in the puppy love phase, but it is awesome.

Short update, but I hope you all have a fantastic week.

Much Love,
Kelli

Financing Your Freedom

2011-03-24T13:26:00.003-05:00

Money, whether you have it or not will always be a constant companion to you. It is not an easy subject to talk about, especially if you are struggling with it. As I am. I don't usually like to hear about money or discuss it, but I read an article the other night that changed my mood and I wanted to share it with you in hopes you may be blessed by it as well.

I believe God can speak to us anywhere and through anything. I had broken my cardinal rule of drinking caffeine after 7:00 pm, and was therefore predictably up after 11 pm, when I should have been blissfully asleep. To help combat this I decided to read and took a magazine from the stack my Grammy Bear had sent on with me. It turned out to be the August 2010 Oprah magazine. I started thumbing through it backwards (as is my usual custom with magazines and I have no idea why) when I came to this article in the front: The Joy Divided (Martha Beck has no head for numbers (just ask her accountant), but she does have a proven strategy for converting money into happiness.)

Obviously it grabbed my attention right away. Money and numbers aren't my thing. I always try to pay my bills on time and pay any of them before I do anything fun with my money. However, when you don't even have enough to pay your bills it can get rough. I once heard a preacher say that 10% was not a sacrifice. I beg to differ. When you only have enough to pay the bills and the tithe would give you some extra cash to do the fringe things you need to do (oil change, new tires, hair cut, pay a little extra on the student loan) it can be particularly tough to tithe it. However, DO TITHE it! You won't be sorry.

Sorry, tangent... so I wanted to read how this author used her money to receive happiness and how much it would cost me if I wanted to do the same. I was surprised by her view on it and I thought what a way to look at it. She divides every purchase up into four categories:

I really NEED it, and I really LOVE it.
I really NEED it, but I don't really LOVE it.
I don't really NEED it, but I really LOVE it.
I don't really NEED it, and I don't really LOVE it.

She concluded that you should spend your money accordingly:

For I really NEED it, and I really LOVE it pay TOP DOLLAR
For I really NEED it, but I don't really LOVE it pay BOTTOM DOLLAR
For I don't really NEED it, but I really LOVE it pay w/ funds you can spend on those items
For I don't really NEED it, and I don't really LOVE it DON'T BUY!!

What a great principle!

I believe in asking God for wisdom when spending money, but by spending it wisely you can also enjoy what you spend. Those items that you don't love and don't need just don't buy. Save it for those items that you really love with your rainy day spending money. For your bills you may not LOVE certain ones, but you know what service or items are necessary to your life that you are willing to pay for.

This is also freeing for those of you who like to spend your money one way versus what others say you need to spend your money on. For example a good concert would be more valuable to me than a great pair of shoes. To me experience is better than tangible items. However, to others the opposite might be true. Therefore this idea and principle frees you from any comparison, and it allows you to spend your money how you need and want to without worry that you aren't spending it like someone else is.

So sit down and go through what you spend your money on. Cut out what you don't love and don't want, and focus on the stuff you do. You might even save some money!

Much Love,
Kelli

Life Application: Forgiving Yourself

2011-03-23T13:10:00.001-05:00

To make sure I keep myself humble, and to show you that I always learn more than I can teach I thought I would follow up my devotionals/teaching posts with my life application of them.

Normally I would wait and at least give you more than a day's worth of reflection, but yesterday after I posted Forgiving Yourself I was struck over the head several times on the subject of forgiveness.

The first thing I did was take my own advice and truly contemplate what I thought my worst vice was. What did I do that constantly made me un-happy with myself and therefore caused me to, at times, hate myself. As I thought about it I think I came up with it: complacency.

I get into moods where I believe things are "good enough", and I accept that they are and move on. However, I have found that when I do this that it comes back and bites me in the butt. Hard. Suddenly I'm transported back to that great Calvin & Hobbs cartoon where Calvin is trying to sell "Swift Kicks in the Butt for a Dollar!" And as no one seems to be buying his service he turns to Hobbs and utters, "Why is it that the one thing people need nobody wants?"

I do not want a swift kick in the butt at any price, but time and again I get it. And I have yet to understand why this happens. And so it was this thought that reminded me that I, at times, allow complacency to creep in and cause me turmoil. The thoughts, "If I had only done this..." "If I had thought about..." So, as I also talked about what is it that I can do to turn this around?

I have to forgive myself or past mistakes will keep coming back and I'll continually beat myself up about it. Second I have a new question that I ask myself at the end of every task, "Have I done all I can do?" If the answer is "Yes" then I need to move on. If something happens and I learn there was something else I needed to do then I need to realize that it was an honest mistake, learn from it, and move on. If the answer is "No" then I need to continue working until I'm satisfied that I've done everything I can do.

For me honest mistakes hurt far less than casual mistakes that could have been prevented if I were on my game.

Second I listened to North Point's 2nd Part of their series Life Applications. The second part is about the life application of forgiveness. There are many references in the Bible to forgiveness and we know that to make ourselves whole we need to forgive. Not because the other person deserves it, but because it frees us from the grudge and residual anger that eats at us. Even if it is directed at ourselves. If you get the chance I suggest you listen to it. Especially the very end when they have an incredible special guest.

I'll come back and visit how I'm doing with this new found thought, but I want you to know that I don't take what I tell you lightly. If I'm going to teach I have to believe it. Which is also why they would kick me out of public school as a teacher because I'm not teaching anything as fact when I know it to be false. That's a discussion for another time though.

I know that forgiving yourself is hard, but I hope that you do. It will release you from so many beatings that you have given yourself, and suddenly life doesn't seem nearly as harsh as it was before. Remember nothing is ever destroyed from without unless it was first destroyed from within.

Much Love,
Kelli

Forgiving Yourself

2011-03-22T13:39:00.001-05:00

I don't think we ever face any tougher critic than ourselves. In fact for many of us our hatred of ourselves goes beyond what we might heap on our worst enemy. And I think most of it comes from the nasty decision to judge.

We judge everything, and while having good judgment is necessary we seem to lack the necessary wisdom needed when making a judgment. Especially about ourselves. Unlike God we cannot judge the heart of a man. So we do the next best thing and look at the actions and words of others to determine how we should proceed with that individual. We see the circumstances and their actions are perceived by us and most of the time we are lenient if we know they have a good heart. However, that leniency is not given to ourselves and I firmly believe it is because we think we can judge our hearts.

I also firmly believe that we don't judge our hearts correctly. I had a Bible Study Fellowship leader that used to repeat this phrase; "We need a high view of God and an accurate view of ourselves." I find in my circle that most have a very high view of God, but an incredibly inaccurate view of themselves. Me included. Part of the issue is perfectionism. I know I strive for it and fail every time. For reasons I don't yet understand I keep trying to achieve it, but the cost of doing so is killing parts of me that need to be nourished. I know I am not alone in this. Our society today demands more and more from us and I think it is crippling us to the point where we are literally killing ourselves. This needs to stop now.

It is so easy to tear down and so difficult to build up, but I think as women we have an innate ability to build each other up. Now, we all know women and have been victims of those that easily tear us down, but I say today, right now, we take our power back. Let those that tear people down be shown for what they are, and let you, yes you, start to build up another. The first way we can do this is with ourselves.

Take your biggest flaw. I mean a real flaw. One that doesn't paint you in a good light. One you struggle with: critical of others, over-eating, no filter when speaking, hot tempered, financially irresponsible, whatever the case may be, own that flaw. I don't mean accept it as good, I don't mean to continue in it, and I mean own that it is part of you. Now, if you are religious ask God to forgive you of that flaw. If you aren't then we will join you in the second part and I now want you to forgive you. Do it. Now. Once you've accepted and forgiven yourself for the flaw you hate the most about yourself you can now take it and help yourself.

If you are critical of others, take that eye for detail and pick out the good things in someone. Then compliment that person. A great placed compliment can go a very long way. If you over-eat think about who might benefit from the food you’re eating. For everything you eat donate the same amount to your local food bank. If you have no filter when speaking repeat this phrase every time before you open your mouth, "Even a fool is thought wise, if kept silent." (Proverbs 17:28) Then proceed to speak. If you are hot tempered find out what your trigger buttons are and become passionate about a solution to help alleviate the anger trigger. And if you are financially irresponsible find out small things you can do to help you become better at managing your finances. There is a solution out there for you, and your deepest flaw can reveal what can become your biggest treasure.

You are stuck with you until you die, and you are certainly worth the love and care you give to others. Having self-love doesn't have to be selfish. It can fulfill your role in helping others.

Get It Right
by Lea Michele

Much Love,
Kelli

A Love Story

2011-03-15T12:53:00.000-05:00

"Do not let your hands hang limp. The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:16-17

I was on my way to my usual Friday Night dinner with dear friends and I was thinking over the week. I, of course, was flipping through stations as I was in my dad's truck and not my radio-deprived car when Bruno Mars' song, "Grenade" came on.

I have the song nearly memorized and wasn't thinking much about it until the chorus came,

To give me all your love is all I ever asked,

Cause what you don't understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I’d jump in front of a train for ya

You know I'd do anything for ya
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya

As a single girl I have certainly thought of what my "prince charming" might be like, and I don't know of a single person who wouldn't feel excited if someone felt the same way the person in the lyrics does. This got me to thinking about who in my life might have this same sentiment for me. And like a ton of bricks it hit me: Jesus.

As many know I've been reading Waking the Dead by John Eldredge, and much of the book is focused on the love of Jesus and the powerful Enemy (Satan) who hates us. So, I wanted to share with you a love story that you might not be aware of, and one that you are fully apart of:

My favorite stories always started with someone who didn't know their worth and the hero who saw it and did everything to rescue the person not only from themselves but from a very powerful enemy.

I think we could all be describing ourselves or someone we know in this scenario. There are so many who don't know their self worth and understand what an incredible human being they are. God saw it. He not only created you but loved you so much he sent a Hero to save you. You are not bad and horrible, sinful yes, but so worthy of love and of course forgiveness.

Jesus saw you, all of you, and loved you so much that he willingly laid down his life to rescue you. To bring you back to him and his father so that you could live forever with him. And until you got to them he sent you a guide to help you through the dangerous perils that we all have to fight.

The best stories are not only where there is a hero who fights, but where the main character has to fight and learns that they too are of value and bring something to the story. That, my beloved is you. God sent Jesus to rescue, Jesus loved you enough to die for you (and if you were the only one he would have willingly died for just you), and Jesus sent the Holy Spirit so that you could continue in this world until you are re-united with your savior, hero, and love.

I don't think there is a better story. And unlike the song that inspired this song, you have the ability to love back and know from you heart outward how much you are loved. You just have to accept the love.

If you have any questions I'm here.

Much Love,
Kelli

Saturday Fun

2011-03-12T08:54:00.001-06:00

So, as I continue to navigate and find my voice I think Saturday's should be reserved for more fun. I love the weekends, not that I know anyone who doesn't, but sometimes I think it needs to have a little more fun.

With that thought in mind I have some fun Saturday blog. At least I will attempt to have that. My humor doesn't always come across the screen correctly.

Now these titles will change as I get bored easily, but you know I'll find the best of whatever.

The Best From Twitter:

I spend a lot of time on Twitter because I can actually be on it at work without my work suffering (unlike Facebook). And it was a great week on Twitter:

1. Gary Sinise re-tweeted me for my mom. His awesomeness took an even bigger leap in my mind. I didn't think that was possible.

2. The Wall Street Journal had the best article title this week on the NPR scandal: Video Killed the Radio Czar. That made me giggle. Loudly.

3. Pastor Paul Sheppard is back to doing his podcast sermons. I clapped.

4. I failed at 'Name That Movie' Quote Game from The Pioneer Woman. Badly. Just a future warning I fail at the game 95% of the time. Unless the movie is The Sandlot. I get that one.

Fashion Finds of the Week:

1. Charming Charlie - a necklace and pair of earrings are only $12.97. That's pretty good.

2. Adorable black dress from Torrid.

3. A great royal blue summer dress from Forever 21+ (formerly known as Faith21)

4. Like I would ever pass up great shoes: Black Wedges, which I fully intend to buy for summer.

Best Video of the Week:

Narayanan Krishnan

(I saw this on Bethany Joy Galeotti's blog. It truly is inspiring.)

Enjoy your weekend!

Much Love,
Kelli

Beauty & The New Purse

2011-03-11T13:22:00.000-06:00

Last night I went to Charming Charlie for a Ladies Fellowship night. The store was big and open and the jewelry was arranged by color and such beautiful items: necklaces, earrings, headbands, rings, shoes, sandals, boots, purses and so much more! The store clerks were nice enough to put some looks together for us, and because of the group we even received a discount. On top of all that my friend, Chastity, did the devotional.

I often go back to the subject of the devotional which is found in 1 Samuel 16:7:

But the LORD said to Samuel,"Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart."

Chastity went on to talk about how we are a society that looks at the physical appearance, and as much as I feel it as an over weight woman, I know that all women and most men feel it to. And it goes beyond health. I'll save my feelings on health for another day, but suffice it to say I don't believe running people down or being rude, in any capacity, is the way you deal with someone who looks out of the "norm". As all it seems to have done is to strike fear in the hearts of many people to the point they are ruining their bodies just so they won't be seen as fat.

And yet God specifically tells us to look into the heart of a man. It is not the physical appearance that determines how incredible a human being is, but their heart. Who among us has not seen someone achingly beautiful, only to see their beauty turn sour when they open their mouth to spew anything but kindness and goodness? The opposite is true to, we've seen someone with a physical appearance that isn't as pleasant to the eye, but they open their hearts and their actions cause us to see way beyond physical appearance to the beauty of their soul.

In fact I think the best example of this is actually from the movie, Shallow Hal. I know it got slammed by many people, but I think the lesson from it on physical beauty vs inner beauty was spot on. My question is why don't we focus more on those traits? I can be just as guilty and the minute I am the Holy Spirit convicts me, and I am reminded that they are a person of worth. The second greatest commandment then comes flooding into my heart, "Love your neighbor as yourself", and suddenly I see something in that person that I never would have seen with my blinders on.

I'm not saying we should throw appearance out the door, or let people continue on in very un-healthy habits, but I think if given love and encouragement, that perhaps, true beauty will start to mean more to you and to me.

All of that being said I actually bought a new purse. My beautiful orange Kate Spade was an incredible 2009 Christmas gift that I've proudly worn since then. In fact I refused to give it up until I could find another purse that would catch my eye. Last night I did. I'm retiring my beloved purse for the time being, but make no mistake it will be back. Beauty like that should never be resting too long (just like you!).

So this is my new beautiful yellow Berkinish looking bag.

May someone see your beauty today.

Much Love,
Kelli

Patience for Tuesday

2011-03-08T12:57:00.000-06:00

Today when I woke up it promised to be a great day. Yesterday was incredible. I actually watched Law & Order: Criminal Intent with Goren and Eames while I got ready. Then for lunch I got to eat Don Pablo's. For dinner I swung by Schlotskyz for a brown bag and Sprite, and then zipped over to a dear friends house to watch some TV and just hang out. It was truly a great Monday.

Then I woke up today after some bizarre dreams, but still feeling good. All was going well, watching White Collar, and then I went downstairs. From that point on it has been a twist of fate and a patience builder. The first issue at hand was the living room. The electricity was out.

Went to the panel, no switches were flipped... suffice it to say we are calling an electrician.

Went to work. Our email issues got worse. With no help from the third party we are in recovery mode. And not ten minutes ago one of the battery power packs went out and brought down several others...

Say a little prayer for me as these hiccups happen.

Much Love,
Kelli

What This Single Really Thinks

2011-03-03T13:03:00.000-06:00

Its not that I want to remain single the rest of my life. I do at some point want a husband and children. However, right now, I'm enjoying the freedom that comes with being single. Every life style has its pros and cons, but since I don't know about the married life I can only account for the single and childless one.

With that said, I would like to address some "issues" that come with being single and childless.

The I-Know-A-Girl-Who-Got-Married-For-The-First-Time-at-40+ Story. While I and others realize this story is suppose to make us feel better that we are still single. That is not always how it is taken. Be careful with this story.
Any time someone talks about the troubles of being single and you look to the one single person you know. I enjoy being single. Yes it has its issues but from what I've gathered so does being married. Don't make me stare at you every time someone mentions being married. You won't like the focus.
Telling a single person it must be nice not to be bogged down with responsibility. You mean not having to check in with another person and ask their permission before I do it? Yes it is. However, please don't take that to mean I'm not responsible. I've kept my dog alive for over 13 years now and while I did step on his tail a couple of times he has forgiven me and I continue to scratch his belly.
Assuming I must hate Valentine's Day. I actually enjoy the day. It is a day of love. No matter who you love.
Finally asking or implying that I don't like children, men, or family vacations. Do children who aren't taught to obey and keep their hands and feet to themselves so they can wipe their food and anything else over my outfit and scream and yell and run around places without repercussion annoy me? Yes. However, children for the most part are a delight as are babies. The best part is giving them back to their parents when they're no longer happy and fun. I like men. They're awesome. I know some great ones. I just haven't found the right one yet. And family vacations are the best. I get to get caught up with everyone, I can hang out with whom I please, for any length of time, and my family is cool.

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest. I hope this helps anyone who wants to interact with a single realize we are people too.

Much Love,
Kelli

The Irritation Game

2011-03-02T13:22:00.000-06:00

I don't know about you, but nothing robs my joy faster than an irritation that could be avoided if the other party would play fair.

The easiest of this example is in driving. When you've waited in the long line of cars to exit and someone comes speeding down the right side and then tries to cut in. It makes me want to get out of my car, and punch that person in the face. It is a red-hot anger irritation. It is also something that seems to be unavoidable and constant.

I will be the first to tell you that I don't yet have the tools or help to fix this yet. But I suspect that part of it comes from the Enemy. If you are entirely focused on the irritation then it is hard to see the other things around you. It puts you in a foul mood in which you take it out on everyone else. I'm sure you've seen the commercial depicting this very thing. The hard part is when you realize your actions were the one that caused the downward spiral.

To help keep me from going into this vicious cycle is I sing. At the top of my lungs. No matter who is in the car. If it is the President he should sing along. If you have a bad voice all the more reason others should join you in a loud chorus. If you don't like singing I suggest screaming. I recommend this even if someone is in the car with you. Encourage them to scream with you. It may very well seem silly at first, but once the focus is off of the irritation the easier it is to get that joy back and see the Enemy fail.

I sing whatever is on the radio or MP3 at the moment, but I find this song helps ease my anger a little bit:

Take a Look Around (Mission Impossible 2)
by Limp Bizkit

That's right Limp Bizkit. Don't ask questions. Just sing.

"I know why you wanna hate me
I know why you wanna hate me
Now I know why you wanna hate me
Because HATE is all the world has ever seen lately."

So now, even though you're being a jerk I will be nice to you. So, there!

Much Love,
Kelli

The Defense of Cinderella

2011-03-01T13:21:00.001-06:00

When I was in the second grade I remember sitting in a large circle with my classmates as our teacher explained that we would be re-enacting Cinderella. To keep things fair all the girls would be given a number, and a copy of that number was in our teacher's sack. Whoever had the matching number would be Cinderella. My number was 23.

It was as if from a dream because that was the number my teacher pulled. I, Kelli, was going to be Cinderella. In my second grader female mind I had just won the lottery. Immediately after I had won, one girl, who was considered the prettiest of the class, asked what I would be wearing. I answered I was going to wear my favorite dress. She said she had a better dress and I could borrow it. I politely declined because I wanted to wear my dress. After all I was Cinderella and I could wear the dress I wanted.

Then as it came out that I had declined the kind offer the suggestion I let this girl be Cinderella started. I didn't let any of it get to me though (even at that age) because I knew they were jealous of my win. On the day we were to dress as our characters I had my favorite dress on (wish I had a picture of it), but when I got to school some of my joy was robbed as I realized how much more appropriate for Cinderella that the pretty girl's dress would have been. She had a beautiful white gown on and mine, well it wasn't a gown.

Other girls started pointing out how I should have let the pretty girl be Cinderella, and even though no matter what I wouldn't have given that spot away, I'll never forget that moment when I thought, perhaps, I should have. Even by second grade I had though that my outer beauty was more important than the fact that I was Cinderella. No matter what I looked like I was still Cinderella.

This memory came to me last night as I was praying for healing of my broken heart ( a process to be sure). Much of the hurt I have faced was always about my outer beauty. I am a "big" girl. I was a beautiful child, I look back at old pictures of me and for the life of me can't figure out where left that sparkling girl at. She's still here with me, but I have suppressed her because as I was told in the second grade, and believe now, I'm a false Cinderella.

However, because of this prayer to heal my broken heart, and this memory was one that needed to be healed, I have a new perspective. One I hope will help you. I still am Cinderella. In the Bible many decisions were done by casting lots. It was seen as asking God to write the story and choose the path. I won that lot. And I want you to know that you have too.

Cinderella's prize is not that she got to marry the prince (that was a blessing, but it wasn't the prize). It is that she gets to become the outer princess that she always was on the inside. Her means of getting there may have been by a ball and prince, but the reason we long for her to win is that she is not just physically beautiful, but gracious, kind, and beautiful on the inside. Cinderella becomes what she was always meant to be: a princess.

And if you are daughter of the King then that does make you a princess. You have an incredible, beautiful heart, and the enemy (much like Cinderella's step-family) will to steal, kill, and destroy that heart. Jesus is healing that one moment in time and showing me that it didn't matter the dress I felt like a princess and I am, and He wants me to tell you that you are too.

Join my friend and sister and ask for the healing (if you haven't) for that broken place deep in your heart.

Much Love,
Kelli

Two Wrong Answers

2011-02-28T13:05:00.002-06:00

I have started reading Waking the Dead by John Eldredge. I was seeking a book out that might be able to help me with some of the issues I was going through in my Christian walk. And as I started reading the book to see if it were right for me I found myself nodding my head, a lot.

In my Christian walk I have found that I too have two answers to what has happened to me. They are:

I blew it. I screwed up. I did something wrong, etc.
God is holding out on me.

Both are devastatingly wrong, but in my current state of mind they were the two that made the most sense. Either I had messed up or God could fix it, but wouldn't, and usually I would think He wouldn't because of something I had done. A vicious cycle to be sure.

I'm still reading the book and what I read last night made me cry. (Just keep in mind I cry at Hallmark commercials, so if you're not inclined to crying you'll be fine, but if you are, get the Kleenex out.) However, because of this book my perception and focus are changing.

I want to encourage you that if you feel stuck, like perhaps you'll never get it, as I do so often, that isn't the case. That is a lie. And we know who the father of all lies is.

In the coming weeks I'll tell you what I'm personally doing that I have found to help me, and perhaps can help you.

As you know I can't let this go without some music.

So here I give you:

Pictures of You
by The Last Goodnight
Much Love,
Kelli

Closer to Freedom

2011-02-25T14:11:00.000-06:00

I'm getting closer to the freedom that I've been desiring and it makes me want to run through the streets with my arms above my head shouting. However, this might be seen as an aggressive move and give me a reputation I don't want from the public. Everyone who is close to me already knows the truth.

In ramping up for this I'm excited to tell you that I will actually be finishing RestoredSunshine.com, which is my letter business. It will be a few weeks before I have everything in place, but it will finally get there.

Cakewrecks posted the link for this video yesterday on Twitter and I laughed so hard when I saw it I wanted to share it with all of you!

Have a fabulous weekend everyone.

Much Love,
Kelli

Girls Night Out

2011-02-24T12:56:00.000-06:00

That is what I am having tonight!

So one of the big new things I'm doing is finding out how to do things I don't know how. For example I know almost zero about cars. I know that I need to change the oil and put gas in it to run. I know how to check to see if I have oil, but to change the oil? I haven't paid enough attention.

The other thing I'm doing is reading a new book. I hope to explore this book with you as it is changing my heart and mind in such a glorious way.

So in the coming weeks I hope to bring you what I've learned in a fun and uplifting way.

Until then in response to our morning shower I give you:

It Never Rains in Southern California
by Albert Hammond

Much Love,
Kelli

A Big Decision

2011-02-23T20:48:00.000-06:00

So I did something today that has been weighing on my mind for some time. I've decided to step down from the board in which I mod. It has been wonderful being a moderator, but my time is fleeting and I need to pursue some other venues that being needed on the board won't allow me to do in the capacity that I yearn for.

I feel a freedom with it, but I feel the loss as I have gotten to work with two incredible moderators on my time there. So my heart hurts because of that. However, I'm looking forward to this new chapter and I can't wait to share in the coming weeks what will be happening.

Much Love,
Kelli

A Huh? Moment.

2011-02-22T12:54:00.000-06:00

I am a picky eater.

I have been since birth. Ask my mom, and anyone who has tried to feed me since birth. They'll tell you I'm not exaggerating.

It isn't because they didn't try, bless their hearts, it is just the texture and taste of certain foods make me wig out. For example, I love the taste of sweet potatoes, but I HATE the texture. I sometimes have a shiver go down my spine if I find that the potato mushy. (I detest regular potatoes no matter how you cook them. Even french fries are questionable.)

Because of this food pickiness I sometimes suffer from food boredom, when I get sick of eating a particular food. To help remedy this I choose my food at work the Sunday before it starts so I won't get food I won't eat. This allows for variety, cravings, fun, and practical money spending.

However, because I have allowed myself this freedom I have noticed that yes I do pick different foods, but they are all variations of the same thing:

Pizza Lunchables
French Bread Pizza
Hot Pockets w/ Pizza
Pizza slices

I've been doing this for weeks.

I didn't notice until today.

It makes me go huh?

So while I ponder my predicament here is a great song:

New Soul
by Yael Naim

Much Love,
Kelli

Working Hard

2011-02-22T08:04:00.001-06:00

Hello Loves!

I don't know about you but my days just seem to get away from me. Today though my board celebrates something big. I'm very proud to be a part of it and I just wanted to share something I did for the celebration.

Wallpaper belongs to Kelli W. Please ask permission for use.

There are a lot of changes happening in my life, but I'm looking forward to the change. It will be sad in some cases, but is necessary.

I can't wait to share with you what is going on.

Much Love,
Kelli

McDonalds & Billy Joel

2011-02-19T12:20:00.000-06:00

These two have nothing to do with one another except this morning I had McDonald's and I listened to Billy Joel. To me that is a great way to start my Saturday.
I did make it to the office. You can see by the new blog look it has been updated. I have great tools here at the office, but not on my laptop at home. I'm also creating work for my board that I mod. The board has been there seven years, so it is a pretty big deal.

I hope that you are enjoying your Saturday out there. We actually have to turn on our A/C at the house, that is how hot is has gotten. A complete 180 from the ice days of only a week ago.

I've found new shoes that I've fallen in love with this. My mom said if she won the lottery she would buy them for me. I'm crossing my fingers.

Much Love,
Kelli

Friday Funs

2011-02-18T13:48:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow I really need to go to work to get some things done that I can't while I'm there during the week. So, I'm thinking tomorrow I'm going to indulge and get a sausage biscuit with cheese.

I say this to you not to make you jealous because there aren't many who don't have access to a McDonald's I say this because if you are stuck in a rut do something different.

So I've made a list of things that you might not have done in a while to give you something to think about:

Go to a movie on a school night.
Do a sleep over tonight. Get junk food, pizza, stay up and watch movies, etc.
Make a gourmet meal with your sweetie, and then order pizza if it doesn't come out quite the way you intended.
Sit down at the fast food restaurant instead of getting it to go.
Go to the park and swing or get dizzy on the merry go round.
Go for a drive and look at the beautiful homes out there.
Go to a museum.
Sing Karaoke, even if it is in your own home.
Invite others over to your house and just have a neighborhood fun party, all BYOB.
Make a great collage of all the things that inspire you.

These are just a few, but sometimes the thing that might help to get you out of your funk is to do something unexpected and fun. It will renew you and remind you that it won't always be the way it is.

Oh, and if you need a good party song, I have a suggestion:

Turn Up the Radio
by Autograph

Much Love,
Kelli

I Watched a Dog Show

2011-02-16T12:50:00.000-06:00

I had forgotten last night that instead of White Collar, USA would be televising, Westminister Dog Show. I was very surprised when I actually watched it.

This was the resulting winner:

It is a Scottish Deerhound. I had no idea it existed. I was rooting for the terrier.

The reason is I'm biased. Very biased. So biased in fact that if I ever get another dog it will have to be as smart as a terrier. And this little guy, is the reason why:

The eyes are what get me.

Every time.

And the fact I can say, "Go show me what you want."

And he does.

Every time.

Much Love,
Kelli

Parents and Humor

2011-02-15T12:51:00.001-06:00

My sense of humor seems to be gone for the day, but I will try to forge ahead and focus on the positive. For one, I had a great Valentine's Day. I certainly hope you did. I got exactly what I wanted:

Dilled Cauliflower and V8 Juice.

I came home to that, and let me tell you it brightened up my day!

So, I posted on Facebook: I have the best parents ever.

Because, well, I do. It wasn't a statement about anyone else's parents. It was a statement about my parents and how they are the best. As in, I know your parents are the best for you and do great things, but these are my parents, and as my parents they are the best. I don't know if your parents would be the best for me, so on and so forth.

It really irritated me the response I got. Which is why, although I think those that responded might have meant it in a funny way, it was not received well.
This is also why I have to stop posting on Facebook, but that is another issue to tackle another day.

Meanwhile, tonight I'm going to volunteer at the church for their Upwards Celebration. I did it last year and had a lot of fun, so I'm looking forward to it this year.

Much Love,
Kelli

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T12:43:00.000-06:00

I wish you all much love and kindness today. I have been away for a while, but I'm back. The past few weeks have been crazy with snow storms, work, and non-work, but still time consuming pursuits.

However, I'm back and since I don't want to try counting again I'm no longer numbering my days in the challenge. Just know each day presents its own challenges.

I'd be curious to know how many of you got what you wanted or were hoping for Valentine's Day. I don't know if I'll get mine, but if I do I'll post a picture of it. My desire, is of course, traditional and then very non-traditional. Kinda like me!

I will be posting a new background and photo soon. As I tweeted earlier I know spring is coming back because this weekend I saw two bumble bees and then this morning the tiniest spider was on my desk and when I went to inspect it bungee jumped off my desk to the floor. I was so stunned that the little guy got away. Oh well.

Again I wish you much love today and I leave you with this wonderful love song.

Two Is Better Than One
Boys Like Girls ft. Taylor Swift

Much Love,
Kelli

Day 26: Some Good Fun

2011-01-26T18:26:00.000-06:00

Hello love,

How are you doing today? I am, doing better. I had to share this story with you really quickly, because even four days later I'm still laughing.

As you may know I am the 2nd-5th Grade Sunday School teacher at my church. This was an exchange on Sunday morning:

Male 2nd Grader: "Last night we watched 'whores'."
Me (trying to keep eyes from bugging out): "You watched what?...
Male 2nd Grader (talking as if I were stupid): " 'Whores' they went through this room and there were rats everywhere."
Me (very confused): Oh, well...
Male 5th Grader Interrupting: "He means 'Horders'. They were cleaning the room and there were lots of rats."
Me (very relieved): "Oh, yes, hoarders, that is some nasty stuff huh?"

Thank goodness for that 5th Grader. I knew the 2nd Grader didn't mean what he said, but for the life of me I couldn't figure it out.

Now for something older, fun, and cool:

I'll Be Seeing You
by Frank Sinatra

Much Love,
Kelli

Day 25: Beauty from Pain

2011-01-25T13:04:00.001-06:00

Hello Dear Friend,

I once heard that one of the traits of someone who is a natural born teacher is if they want to share what they've learned with others. If that is the case then I guess you could say I am a teacher. I want to share with you what I've been learning and I want to know, dear friend, how are you doing, really? I won't lie to you I've been better, but I've been a whole lot worse than this too.

I woke up this year, and to be honest I hadn't even realized that I was asleep. I knew that I was in some sort of depression over what was going on. I knew that I wasn't ready for God's next step because the last one had been so difficult for me emotionally, but I didn't realize until this week that I had been running away from God.

In everything, I've shown up when I needed to, and I did my job, but I certainly wasn't engaged in what I was doing. I was simply going through the motions. As 2011 approached I started to seriously consider what was going on with my life. My passion for God was almost non-existent, my desire to make a difference wasn't to be found, and I really hadn't enjoyed life as I had before this time.

This is a big year for me, I turn thirty, and it bothers me only because I'm not where I thought I was going to be at this age. All of my friends seem to be, but not me. I had often joked that if I was still living with my parents at thirty that for my birthday everyone could just drop off a bottle of alcohol and I would sleep through the day. As I laughed about it, I often cried because the pain of it was so true. However, that is not how I want to celebrate. I want thirty to be good and the only way it was going to be good was if I said it was going to be. All of my emotions and feelings (which can be big fat liars) were my decision. And the way I had been is not where I wanted to stay.

I have never once in my life wanted something just normal. I have always wanted adventure, a life full of love, compassion, joy, peace, travels, adventures, and never once did I just want to exist. So, why after God has given me such a life, was I complaining because it wasn't normal I still don't understand. It doesn't matter though, because that is not where I am today.

Today I'm fully engaged again. I'm excited about the next step that God has for me, and don't think for a moment that I wouldn't be here if it weren't for the tender love and patient compassion of my Jesus. I've been studying Jonah from Priscilla Shrier and it has opened my eyes. I would love to discuss it with anyone who has gone through it or is going through it. A marvelous study that has done nothing but keep my head nodding with the truth of life, God, and my own behavior.

If you are hurting I want to pray for you. Just leave a comment, you don't have to tell me what, just a name and yes, you need prayer.

I might have shown this video before, but it just fits so perfectly into this post that I want to share it with you.

Beauty from Pain
by Superchick

I know you will hope again.

Much Love,
Kelli

Day 24: Mondays and Other Business

2011-01-24T18:50:00.000-06:00

Hello beloveds.

Today was not one of my best days, but it certainly wasn't one of my worst, so I'm thankful for that. As for my nail-biting well, I really need to find something to do with myself when I'm bored or nervous. I was doing so well, but then I was watching a movie and my ringer finger is back to where it was weeks ago.

However, I will praise the good Lord that I'm not nearly as bugged out as I could be about the events of today. I'm getting to the point where even if it is bad news I know that God has me in his hands and will get me through this situation so there is no point in worrying or focusing on it. I can just give it over to him and then go enjoy myself in more fun pursuits.

So that is what I'm doing. I'm enjoying my Monday night. Tonight is Mike & Molly and Tabatha's Salon Take Over. Plus I have my Jonah study which I'm so into and loving. I recommend it to anyone!

Okay, well it is Neil Diamond's birthday so I'm playing my favorite song in celebration!

Cracklin' Rosie
by Neil Diamond

Much Love,
Kelli

Day 21: It Never Occurred to Me

2011-01-21T14:12:00.001-06:00

Something occurred to me last night and I had to sit back and ponder it for a few minutes. Now this thought wasn't new, in fact, it came to me when I started watching Sons of Anarchy with L. It came back when I was trying to find out why Royal Pains was the only show on USA I didn't watch. Alas I came to a conclusion and so I thought I would get your opinion on it.

I do not like medical dramas. Except for that time when I watched ER for the first couple of seasons I don't watch medical dramas (fake ones, real ones on the other hand seem to fascinate me.)

I do like crime dramas, dramedies, and comedies. For example this is a list of said crime shows that I watch when in season:

Psych
Law & Order: Criminal Intent
White Collar
The Closer
Rizzoli & Isles
Justified
CSI: New York
In Plain Sight
The Glades
Bones (only on reruns though)
Fairly Legal (which is about the law)
Drop Dead Diva (legal)

Then we have the spy game:
Burn Notice
Covert Affairs

And the Etc of TV:
One Tree Hill
Glee
The Big Bang Theory
Mike & Molly
The Office
Jeserylicious
Top Chef
Tabatha's Salon Take Over

All of that to say man do I watch a lot of television, and I like to see people get justice. That doesn't always happen in real life with a nice neat bow so these shows help with that. Beyond that though I wonder if you could do a profile based on what I like to watch. What would your TV shows say about you?

Just for fun: some music.

Little Willy
by Sweet

Much Love,
Kelli

Day 20: A Case for Twitter

2011-01-20T12:54:00.001-06:00

Before I get to Twitter I just want to encourage you to do something spontaneous. I did last night and had a great time! L., wanted to go to the movies, but none of her friends were available, and I thought why not? So I told her I would go with her and then our sister, A. wanted to go too so we went to the theater and saw The Green Hornet.

We were still laughing when we came out of the theater and even though I only got five hours of sleep it was worth the fun. So, you don't have to do anything extreme, just do something out of the ordinary I bet that you'll have a happy boost after that.

Now on to my thoughts on Twitter:

I believe that Facebook is great to keep up with friends and family. However, when I want news, great content, fun content, and to meet interesting people I choose Twitter. I have several instances where I could tell you how much I like Twitter, but I wanted to share today's fun.

I was listening to Pandora, which I do when I don't want to pick out the songs I want to hear. Today they played this incredible version of 'Black Hole Sun' by the Section Quartet.

I tweeted, Listening to Black Hole Sun by the Section Quartet . It is less depressing ominous without the lyrics, but still keeps the darker vibe.

I got this tweet soon after, from @sectionquartet We love Black Hole Sun too! It's always a challenge to play live. Won't you please follow us?

I, of course responded, You bet. Your sound is unique and we like that.

And I got this in return, Well then, thank you very, very much!

You don't get that on Facebook or LinkedIn.

That is just one story from many twitter stories and why I like it so very much.

Black Hole Sun
by Section Quartet

Much Love,
Kelli (@rstrdsunshine)